Mass Effect: Paramour Chronicles
by Freshman19
Summary: a Collection of stand alone one shots about Commander Shepard getting some love! Mostly crack pairings. Rated M for safety. Complete...for now.
1. Kasumi

A/N: Finally doing a mass effect story and the summary says it all. so here's the first chapter for Kasumi!

Bio:

Adam Shepard

Spacer

War Hero

Paragade Vanguard

* * *

Click. Click. Click. Click.

Shepard clung to the corner of the corridor and looked around it. Empty. He tip toed to the elevator, making sure his steps wouldn't echo down that hallway. The elevator opened, empty as well.

"Home free" He thought as the doors closed. Once it started moving he felt a tap on his shoulder.

"Thought you could escape me, eh Shep?" Kasumi came into view, leaning on Shepard like he was a post.

"You're just lucky my tactical cloak was recharging or else you wouldn't have found me."Shepard smiled as the elevator got to the CIC. Both of them activated their cloaking. Garrus entered the Elevator with Yeoman Chambers.

"I haven't seen Shepard all day Garrus. He went down to the Crew deck an hour ago and he hasn't been seen since. Shepard noticed Kasumi's hand came out of cloaking and she made a few hand signals telling Shepard to follow her lead. Kasumi shifted a little and poked Kelly on her side that was closest to Garrus.

"Oh!" Kelly gasped, "Garrus, what was that about?"

"I don't know what you're talking about." Garrus said flatly, his mandibles twitching slightly. Kelly gave him a 'yeah right' look then faced forward once more. Shepard got what Kasumi was planning and shifted over and poked Garrus on his left leg near where Kelly's hand was, making him jump.

"And I suppose that was in retaliation?" Garrus said, narrowing his eyes at the Yeoman.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Kelly objected.

"Well I know there's no one else here so you're the only one who could have touched me Chambers." Garrus huffed." I've heard the rumors, that you like aliens, but I didn't know you were so forward."

"Oh and I've heard the rumors about you too Mr. Reach. The whole crew deck heard you telling the Commander about it." Kelly huffed, crossing her arms at the Turian.

"Well I bet hearing that sent Shivers up your spine didn't it?" Garrus laughed.

"And if it did?" Kelly gave Garrus an incredulous look.

"If it did then I'd suspect that you'd want to see my reach in action" Garrus flexed his mandibles once more, waiting for Kelly's response.

"Then I say we go to your quarters so that we can make that come to fruition" Kelly gave Garrus a wink as he two exited the Elevator on the Crew Deck level.

"Well that was a very different ending than I thought" Kasumi laughed as she deactivated her cloaking. "Looks like there'll be some loud noises coming from the main battery."

"That won't be the only place" Shepard pressed the button for the level with his Cabin on it.

"My my Shepard, whatever do you mean?" The door opened and the two entered Shepard's room. Kasumi jumped onto his back. "Giddy up Shep!" pointing towards his bed. Once he arrived Kasumi leaped down from his back and pushed him onto his bed. She reached for the zipper on her suits shoulder and pulled it slowly. Once it reached the end of its trail Kasumi pulled her arms out of the sleeves and slowly pulled the torso piece away from her breasts, teasing Shepard with an evil smirk on her face. Shepard went to undo the buttons of the formal wear Kasumi got him for the heist, but she wagged a finger at him. "I had a feeling we'd come to this, so I added a feature to my Omni-tool." Kasumi's Omni-tool activated and the buttons unsnapped one by one and flew away from each other, opening the shirt.

"You think of everything Ms. Goto" Shepard smiled as he pulled his arms out of the sleeves. Both parties removed their lower body attire in unison and Kasumi walked slowly over to Shepard, swaying her hips with every step.

"Were you expecting anything less?" Kasumi laughed, "You must remind me to thank Miranda for some of the "Upgrades" she gave you"

"I'll leave a note with the Yeoman" Shepard smiled as Kasumi crawled over him and kissed him passionately.


	2. Miranda

A/N: Warning this is a F/F chapter with a femShep, if you don't like it, then wait for the next chapter.

Bio:

Kallen Shepard

Spacer

Ruthless

Renegade Vanguard

* * *

"Commander, the new addition to the Normandy has finished, the Shooting range is now accessible on the fifth deck." EDI chimed from her console in Shepard's cabin.

"Thanks for the notice EDI" Shepard was passing the time by toggling the color of her N7 armor. She finally decided on Black armor with a blood red pattern for the stripe on her right arm and over her breastplate. Shepard walked to the elevator and summoned it. EDI's blue head popped up before the elevator arrived.

"XO Lawson is on the incoming elevator" EDI's head disappeared back into her console after the announcement. True to her words Miranda was waiting in the elevator when the doors opened. "Ah, this isn't the CIC," Miranda looked oddly confused when she saw she was at Shepard's door. She noticed Miranda was hold a Kassa fabrication M12 Locust SMG, "but since you're here would you like to…break in the shooting range with me on the 5th deck?"

"I was just headed there," Shepard stepped into the elevator and pressed 5, "I see you got the first Locust Mordin made after Kasumi's heist. It shoots like a dream"

"So I've heard, that's why I'm going to the shooting range, to test the new guns." The elevator stopped on the 5th deck. As soon as the doors opened Shepard saw four different booths, each with a pair of noise cancelling headphones. Miranda and Shepard walked to the booths in the middle and put on their headphones, which weren't really necessary for Miranda since the Locust was whisper quiet when it was fired. Shepard, on the other hand, reached for the shotgun rack and picked up her baby, the M-300 Claymore. When she found it aboard the collector vessel it was love at first sight; she even squealed like a giddy school girl when she blasted a Harbinger controlled collector drone into nothingness from point blank range after hitting it with her biotic charge.

"EDI begin training simulation R4- X13" Miranda switched her ammo setting to cryo, befitting of her Ice Queen demeanor. EDI's small blue form appeared against the wall about 50 yards away from the booths Shepard and Miranda stood in, two Generator's lit up and produced two combat drones.

Miranda fired two rounds, the second round making the combat drone explode. The drone intended for Shepard continued to advance; it had to if Shepard was going to use her claymore to its full potential. Once it got close enough, Shepard fired the one round clip with a loud crash, making the drone fly backwards and explode. EDI sent a few commands to the generator. The next opponents the generators produced were holographic projections of Blue suns mercenaries. Miranda switched her ammo to incendiary and fired a single round, right between the eyes of the mercenary's helmet, dissipating the projection. Unbeknownst to XO Lawson, Shepard switched from her Claymore to her Carnifex hand cannon and fired two rounds, one in each knee of the modified combat drone, then another round right in the same spot where Miranda shot her merc. Miranda looked in Shepard's direction with slight annoyance on her face, "Show off" she whispered. EDI produced two more combat drones, this time in the shaped of Krogan.

"Now we're getting somewhere" an evil smile spread across Shepard's face. She placed her pistol down and picked up the arc projector, also unbeknownst to Miranda due to the dividers between booths. Miranda fired three shots at her Krogan drone to weakening its armor then lined up her locust for another headshot, but she was interrupted by the surge of electricity coming from Shepard's booth that hit her Krogan then jumped to Miranda's Krogan and wiped them both out.

"Hey! Pick your own target. When we took out the collectors on their ship, you were charging all over the place with that claymore, Kasumi and I barely used two clips. I'm down here because I've barely lifted a finger in my last two missions and I don't want to get rusty."" Miranda hissed as she stepped into Shepard's booth. "You know the arc projector's rounds jump from target to target, but I guess you were just trying to show me up.

"What's the matter Lawson? Jealous that I took a kill from the "Perfect" Cerberus agent?" Shepard smirked after removing her headphones.

"You think I'm jealous?" Miranda sucked her teeth at the suggestion.

"Well maybe if you weren't so busy looking cute in that outfit, you'd have killed collector or two" Shepard pulled the trigger on the arc projector and blasted two combat drones shaped like collectors, "killing" them both.

"There's what I'm talking about …and what's your problem with my outfit Commander?" Miranda did a mental double take on Shepard's rebuttal, 'weren't so busy looking cute in that outfit' just what was she playing at?

"It's not my fault you don't know how to do a biotic charge. To answer your question though, I've got nothing against your outfit. You have the right body to wear it in fact, I can't see Jack pulling the look off and I'm not 'well rounded' enough to either." Miranda was utterly confused. Was the Commander hitting on her? "You've got a little red on your face Lawson" Miranda could feel it, the heat in her face, usually associated with blushing. Shepard, Kallen Shepard made her blush.

"Shepard I…are you coming onto me?" Miranda blurted out. She was never good at relationships. Her debacle with Jacob was enough evidence of that, and it made it even harder with another female mind on the other side of the equation.

"What gives you that Idea?" Shepard fired the arc projector again, killing two Turian drones EDI produced.

"So you weren't…but you said…and you and T'soni…" Miranda sighed from aggravation, so this was the "playing hard to get" she heard about. Through all her rushing thoughts she heard EDI say "simulation complete" she looked up to see EDI disappear into her console. "Dammit Shepard, you did it again.

"If you need to stay sharp, then I suggest we spar," Shepard smirked at her second in command.

"Fine then" Miranda nodded. A few minutes later they were in the sparring ring, padded up and ready to throw some blows. "Begin" EDI chimed.

Miranda advanced on Shepard in two long steps. Shepard kept her at bay with a few soft jabs to the stomach. Miranda threw a hard Jab for Shepard's head, but the commander side stepped her completely. Miranda expected a headshot in return, but was shocked to feel a sharp pain coming from her behind.

"What was that?" Miranda shrieked, rubbing her butt to ease the burning sensation.

"What? It was an easy target?" Shepard gave Miranda the "bring it" motion. Miranda advanced again. This time she hit Shepard with a couple of body blows and made sure to keep her in her sights. Shepard ducked a left hook and gave Miranda a soft jab to her right breast. When she was distracted Shepard used the opening to sweep her legs to get to the ground and mounted her.

"You fight dirty Shepard" Miranda seethed as she looked up into Shepard's slightly glowing red eyes.

"You know you enjoyed it Lawson. You said you never had a social life because of your father, so you never got to give it a try."

"Give...what a try?" Miranda knew exactly what Shepard meant, and she felt her face getting hot again. When she broke her commander's gaze, her eyes went right to Shepard's chest then she looked away from her body entirely once she realized what it meant.

Shepard laughed softly, "You're so cute when you're confused Miranda. I won't mention this to any of the crew. It'll be our little secret."

Miranda paused for a few seconds, "EDI no one is allowed in the training room until I say otherwise" EDI acknowledged the order and the holographic interface on the door turned red, "Alright Shepard, but only because you've got me curious now." Shepard smirked then leaned down and pressed her lips against Miranda's

"I can't wait to see the look on Liara's face when I tell her this." Shepard thought.


	3. Samara

A/N: for all those who tried to romance Samara, this is for you!

Adam Shepard

Earthborn

War Hero

Paragon Sentinel

* * *

Shepard's eyes opened to the darkness of space. Thinking he was waking from another bad dream about the attack on the Normandy SR-1, he was relieved to see he was in his Quarters looking up at the Moon roof over his bed. He walked over to his closet and pulled out the formal wear Kasumi got him for her Heist, it'd grown on him and was probably not bugged like the Cerberus uniforms they made for him.

After feeding his fish he walked to the elevator rand waited for it to come. Once it arrived Shepard pressed 3 for the crew deck to get some breakfast. Most of the crew was on shore leave. After retrieving the IFF Sheppard though it would do everyone good to rest up before heading through the Omega-4 relay.

Shepard fixed himself a plate of Bacon and Eggs "Just like back on earth" he thought as he tore through the eggs. Once he was done with them, he heard a door swish open. It was the justicar, walking drowsily from her quarters on the starboard observation deck.

"Greetings Commander" she said through a yawn and stretch.

"Samara, you're still onboard, I'm surprised you weren't looking for an injustice on the Citadel."

"I appreciate the concern commander, even through comedy, but even justicars need their rest. I've just awoken from a 15 hour slumber after the retrieval of the Reaper IFF. I've never used my biotics as much as I did on that one mission." Samara walked over to the refrigerator and pulled out the jug of milk and poured herself a glass.

"It was an exhilarating mission" Shepard said, remembering the waves of husks and Scions he Samara and Mordin fought though to get to the Reapers mass effect core and their newest crew member Legion.

"I must say Shepard, I'm very glad that you recruited me for this mission. There is no greater injustice than harvesting millions of innocent civilians for experimentation. It gives me great joy to be a part of something this big."

"I'm glad you agreed to come, I also see you've changed your outfit" Shepard looked slightly surprised that she was wearing the black version of the outfit she wore when Shepard recruited her on Illium.

"Yes, I figured it would do me good to have a little change in my life right now. It also coincides with my other outfit being covered in chunks of the husks we killed."

"I guess it comes with the job when you have to fight with a vanguard." Shepard laughed sheepishly. His main battle strategy was to charge in then have his squad mates use their powers or abilities to distract the opponents who didn't get hit with the charge. Samara was used for her pull ability and would pull enemies and Shepard would use his charge to send them flying, the problem with husks was that they'd break into pieces when hit by powerful biotic attacks. "My Biotics sometimes get away from me"

"I've seen your biotics in action Shepard, they are about as powerful as a mid-Matron stage Asari."

"That's it? Just a Matron?" Shepard asked, sounding disappointed.

"With a little more practice you might crack the first year of being a Matriarch. Maybe."

"I think I could show you something that'd change your mind, but not here" He smirked, motioning for the starboard observation deck.

"Shepard we've had this discussion before. I am a matriarch and my desires are well within my control, where I prefer to keep them." Samara shook her head, "don't make this more difficult than it already is."

"So you admit that it's difficult to keep your desires in check around me?" Shepard saw an opening, and metaphorically charged through it.

"Your twisting my words get you nowhere, I must return to my Quarters." Samara turned back towards the starboard observation deck.

"I see. You don't want to feel like a Maiden again, understandable" Shepard's line was spoken softly, nearly in audible, but he counted on Samara's keen sense of hearing to pick up on it, and she did.

"What was that?" she asked, stopping cold but still looking towards her destination.

"Well as you know I had a fling with Liara T'soni 2 years ago, before I died. When we melded I blew her mind, literally. I had to leave her on the ship so she wouldn't be a liability on Ilos while she regained her wits. I can be very creative with my mass effect fields." Samara remained still, sighing a bit from Shepard's persistence. "case and point" Shepard lifted his right arm and his biotic field flared around him. He sent a small ball of biotic energy towards Samara and it over powered her field. Shepard sent another ball of energy at her, this time she spun to try to deflect it, but it hit her in the chest, but sent her nowhere. Samara noticed Shepard's eyes were closed then looked down to see her chest was exposed.

"If I were not bound by the oath to serve you you'd be dead where you stand Shepard." She said covering up, her face turning a bright shade of purple from blushing. Shepard shot another small ball of biotics at her this time splitting her outfit further down to her hips. "Shepard" Samara's tone was growing more and more violent and her biotics flared into a massive corona. Shepard's Omni-tool activated then a green blast of energy hit Samara and her corona faded. "What in the name of the goddess was that?"

"It's called damping tech, it negates Biotic powers. Tali uploaded it to my Omni-tool after we defeated Matriarch Benezia kept her from using them for the entire fight. Also Samara, we didn't leave the air conditioning on." Samara looked down to see her nipples were erect and in Shepard's sights, so she covered up once again.

"Shepard, what do you want from me? I'm nearly 1000 years old and I give birth to demons" Samara's frustration was getting the better of her, Shepard was a master tactician and he was doing a fine job of flustering the Justicar.

"You're too unsure of yourself, not as a warrior, but as a person. We came so close a few days ago, but you flinched and that's not like you. I want you Samara, I don't care if you give birth to ardat-yakshi or not, I just want you." Shepard walked over to the justicar, who looked about as vulnerable as a young child taken out of her comfort zone.

"Shepard…" was all she could muster in her defense. Truth be told Samara's desires were knocking at the door with nuclear warheads, Shepard was closer than he imagined to what he desired so much.

"Samara…I L-"Shepard was interrupted by Samara's lips pressing against his. She pulled away from him, then motioned for him to follow her in to her quarters. Once inside she continued Shepard's efforts to undress her and pulled her arms out of the sleeves. She cursed Shepard's use of damping, so she had to unbutton his shirt with her hands. "Samara, I had no idea you were this aggressive."

"Are you scared commander, you have only seen the tip the iceberg when it comes to mating with Asari. You'll soon find it won't be on the same level as your time with Dr. T'soni." Samara felt the damping tech wearing off and shot Shepard and evil glare." Embrace Eternity" Her eyes turned black and her biotics flared once more into a spectacular corona. Shepard felt his body fill with a strong tickling feeling and some of his limbs going numb. Before Shepard knew it he was out of breath and staring up at Samara's naked body as she straddled him, breathing heavily herself.

"So commander, how was your eternity?" Shepard was having a hard time processing his thoughts, much less formulating a response. The one constant was the silly smile attached to his face. "I'll take your stunned silence as a sign of satisfaction. I haven't felt this good for over 2 centuries. You were right commander I do feel like a maiden again." Samara rolled slightly and nuzzled Shepard's face for some well earned cuddle time as the back drop of the Citadel filled the window on the Starboard observation deck.


	4. Urdnot Grunt

A/N: This Shepard had no romance in ME 1...or did she?

Kallen Shepard

Renegon Vanguard

* * *

Shepard sat at her desk in her Cabin, looking over the Prothean artifact she discovered on one of the Firewalker Missions. She watched it expand and retract to her touch and through Sheer boredom she did this over and over.

EDI's blue holographic head appeared on the console by the door. "Commander the Elevator has arrived on your deck" Shepard looked up from the artifact.

"Who is it?"

"It's Grunt, Commander."

"Hmm…let him in." Shepard heard the elevator swish open and seconds later, her door swished open and the Tank Bred Krogan walked in. He seemed in awe of being in Shepard's quarters, especially at the fish tank.

"You keep prey in your quarters?" He asked as he eyed the colorful fish swimming around in the tank.

"No Grunt, they're pets. Would you mind pressing that button?" Shepard pointed to the glowing green button at Grunts chest. He pressed it and watched as food was dispersed into the water and the fish swarmed for their lunch.

"It's like a tiny hunt." Grunt watched it like a human would watch a sporting event, "I have imprints of Krogan taking down packs of Varren for a mid day snack. These little guys could use some polishing though…or some tenderizing."

"Snap out of it Grunt, what'd you come up here for?" Shepard put down her artifact and walked over to the Krogan.

"I wanted to see my Battle masters quarters, and I…I wanted to…spend some time with…you" the last explanation sounded as if Grunt was rather reluctant. While sounding Genuine, Grunt must have confused the wanting of Company as a weakness, or so Shepard thought.

"Well Grunt let's spend some time together then, we've got time until we get to Tuchanka, just no breaking any of my stuff or you'll get a Biotic charge, we clear?" Shepard glared at Grunt with her glowing red eyes; A feature she loved since it added to her intimidation factor that served her well throughout her military career.

"Yes M'am, I'll do my best."

The two talked about anything and everything that came to their minds. Grunt wanted to hear about the battles Shepard went through during her military career, the one that got her going though was the Rachni on Noveria.

"So we activate the neutron purge, the next thing I know my radar goes crazy with red dots. Tali opens the door and there had to be 50 Rachni between us and the elevator. The timer only had 2 minutes on it, so I pulled out my shotgun and fired away. I even threw one of the rachni's body's into the crowd with a grenade attached to it, took out about 5 of them at once. The timer got to ten and then I let loose with carnage on the last four Rachni then dragged them into the elevator with me and killed them on the way up to the tram station." Shepard slapped her hands together as if she was getting dirt off of them after an easy job. Grunt was practically salivating over her exploits then got down on a knee to bow to her.

"I can see I was right to follow you Shepard, you defeated hundreds of beings that it took the Krogan years to wipe out. You truly have not match." But for all his admiration, his blood rage kicked back up again when the imprints of Krogan fighting Rachni popped up in his mind. He growled and shook his head, trying to fight it, but the screams of his blood were too loud.

"Grunt…"Shepard backed away slowly, preparing for the Krogan to lash out, and he did just that. He lunged at Shepard getting her off of her feet then slammed her on the bed. Since this was the worst of the blood rage Grunt aimed a punch for Shepard's head, his vision clouded with imprints of a human female blowing the armor off of a Krogan warlord with biotic punch. Grunt recognized this human female s the woman he had pinned on her back, except her hair was brown instead of blonde and her eyes were less glowing.

"Ok, I warned you!" Shepard focused biotic energy into her fist a punched Grunt in the chest, getting him off his feet and rammed into her ship collection. His armor was cracked and dented where her fist landed and a splitting pain coursed through his head. Once he stood up his armor began falling apart and cracked from the torso down to his legs. Once all the pieces fell, Grunt shook his head to regain his bearings.

"Oh my Grunt, it seems that your anger isn't the only thing that gets bigger with your blood rage." Grunt noticed she was looking nowhere near his face then traced the trajectory of her glance to his nether regions. He was standing at full attention in all his Krogan glory.

"A Side effect I guess, I see no shame in it." Grunt shrugged.

"Well Grunt if this is why you wanted to see me, you should have just come clean" Shepard wasn't gonna try to fool herself, it'd been a few years since she last did the dew and she was still a little wary of The Illusive Man's surveillance equipment. She was glad that Tali had come up the day before and removed all bugs and camera's, because she wasn't much f a performer.

"It's not like that Shepard I'm more of a fighter, not a lover. Why are you looking at me like that?" Shepard was staring right into Grunt's eyes as she undid the buttons on her Cerberus jacket then placed a hand on Grunt's shoulder.

"Because, I'm going to show you how good I can really be in "battle" Grunt" Shepard's biotics flared and she used them to pick up the Krogan and slam him onto her bed. Before he could react she pounced and pinned him.

"I like the way you work Shepard" Grunt laughed before getting a fist to the face.

"I didn't say you could speak, now shut up and let me work." Grunt could even muster a response his battle master had already shed her soft armor and climbed on top of him. For the next hour he was her personal thrill ride and punching bag. Whenever she wanted him to do something to her she'd precede the command with violence, something Grunt could appreciate.

Once she was satisfied Shepard laid on her back next to her Tank Bred. "Perfect Krogan indeed" she panted. "You can speak now"

"That was amazing Shepard" even Grunt was out of breath from the paces Shepard put him through, "Although I'm curious as to who this Wrex person you said I was better than.

"No need to worry about it" Shepard giggled.

Later on Tuchanka…

"Shepard!" the familiar growl came from the Chief of Clan Urdnot as he ran to greet his former commander.

"Wrex, it's good to see you!" Shepard smiled, the realized that Grunt had come along.

"The chief of Clan Urdnot?" Grunt shouted, now knowing the standard his sexual prowess was held to. "Shepard, you Varren you!"

"Well Shepard, I see I turned you on to Krogan" Wrex gave her a punch to the shoulder.

"Maybe, but he lasted longer than you did, Mr. Minuteman." Shepard responded with her own punch to the arm, and then got down to the business she originally came to Tuchanka for.


	5. Jentha

A/N: time to venture away from the squadmates and into other characters, starting with the finesst merc EVAR. oh and Reviews for this or past hcapters would be appreciated...no seriously, REVIEW.

Legend Shepard

Spacer

War Hero

Paragon Soldier

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"Get down!" Shepard yelled as he and Mordin ducked behind a couch. Tarak's gunship exploded right outside the window sending debris everywhere. Even though his ears were ringing from the sound, he could hear Grunt roaring in joy of their defeat of three Merc Groups in a matter of minutes. Shepard rushed over to Garrus's Body and was delighted to see he was still breathing. "Mordin, see what you can do to keep him stable"

"Will do what I can" the Salarian activated his Omni-tool and begun to heal Garrus. Shepard searched the room, found some spare Thermal clips and 200 credits in a footlocker.

"Ngh" Shepard froze. The noise didn't come from Garrus , but it came from a Blue suns Merc that was still alive. Shepard raised his pistol and walked over to her. He recognized her as Jentha, one of Tarak's soldiers.

"Help." She grimaced from the pain in her leg, where Sheppard got her as she was vaulting into the window during the assault.

"Give me one good reason to help a Mercenary." Shepard turned his ammo setting to shredder and aimed his gun at her head.

"I'm out of a job, so I need some work" Jentha laid her Assault rifle down as a sign of surrender and Shepard didn't kill people once they surrendered. "Since you killed my boss, I think it'd only be right if I served under you. I've grown tired of this mercenary life anyway" 

"Well…alright, you can come" Shepard activated the medi-gel application on his Omni-tool and healed Jentha's leg.

Back on the Normandy, Miranda was going crazy over the addition of a now former blue suns Mercenary.

"Shepard are you crazy? She's just going to be a liability, She's only a Mercenary, so special talents, skills-"

"Zaeed is a former Mercenary, yet he's on the mission. With Jentha's knowledge of the blue suns network we can take over their organization from the inside and we need all the help we can get with the collectors so she stays. Dismissed"

"Yes sir" Miranda saluted and left, still seething over Shepard's impromptu addition.

"Thanks for standing up for me, is she always like that?"

"Only when she doesn't get enough sleep…which is all the time." The two shared a laugh. "Well we've run out of places to put people, so the best thing I can offer you is the couch in my Quarters."

"It's better than anything on Omega. I don't have much anyway so I won't complain."Shepard walked her to the elevator and pressed 1 for his cabin. The ride was quick and in no time they were entering his apartment-ish living space. "I said it was better than Omega, but I think it might be better than Illium" Jentha sat on Shepard's couch, "I could get used to this."

"the Bathroom has a hidden door behind the desk, if you walk up to it it'll open, Mess on the third deck, armory and science lab are on the second Deck." Shepard walked over to the console and gave her access to the use of the elevator.

Jentha spent the majority of the night getting to know the crew. She really seemed to click with Tali, their use of tech attacks in battle seemed to be the common ground they expanded upon.

Shepard was sitting his bed, reading the ascension novel he picked up at the citadel when he got the upgraded food when Jentha returned. "You've got some crew. I can see why only four of you took out so many mercs back on Omega."

"Yeah, I hope you patched things up with Garrus" Shepard said, scrolling down to the next page on the data pad.

"Yeah, I let him know it was just business and he was very civil about it." Jentha undid the buckles on her blue suns armor and let the chest piece fall to the floor, revealing a black tank top underneath. "I won't be needing this anymore since I'm out of the suns."

"I'm sure Mordin could whip you up some new armor, he only sleeps for an hour anyway so you'll have it by Mordin" Shepard made a few requests from his Omni tool down to the upgrade terminal in the science lab then returned to his Novel.

"Thank you Commander. I'll be in the shower, this armor doesn't breathe well." Shepard acknowledged her as she went into the bathroom. When she returned she was wearing nothing but a towel. Shepard stretched, moving the data pad and got a good look at her wet and slender figure. "Sorry am I distracting you?" she asked in a playful tone, scrolling through the casual outfits in Shepard's armor locker that Mordin updated with female sizes for his new guest.

"You could say that…" Shepard smiled a bit as he stared at her.

"See something you like?" Jentha gave up the charade of looking for clothes and swayed her hips as she approached the commander's bed.

"I bet some of the women on this ship would be very envious that I get to stay in here with you commander." Jentha sat at the edge of his bed, her back to him.

"They might, but they don't matter to me beyond their duties."

"Ah, a solo man huh?" Jentha sounded a little disappointed. "You were in the alliance so you've got yourself under control. Not many chances for romance in the blue suns, especially with all the Batarians in the Suns"

"Then let me give you that chance Jentha." Shepard set his data pad on the night stand and winked at Jentha.

"You don't waste time, do you?" Jentha let the towel fall to the floor and crawled over top of the commander and pulled his shirt over his head and kissed him under the view of space.


	6. Legion

A/N: For all you Legionmancers or would be Legionmancers! ^^ REVIEW D

KallenShepard

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ruthless

Renegade Vanguard

* * *

Shepard waited outside the Normandy's airlock patiently. It was one of the few times she wasn't wearing armor outside her ship, but she always carried her pistol in case someone felt brave. "Any minute now" she sighed as she examined her predator heavy pistol. She might need it for where she was going tonight.

A few minutes later she could hear the airlock opening and stood back. "We are ready for our Shore excursion, Shepard-commander" Legion emerged from the airlock, he had finished being repainted white and the light in his red changed to a red coloring.

"Took you long enough Legion" Shepard huffed as she put her pistol away.

"We agreed to the use of Organic tardiness that would appear to be in fashion" the plates on Legion's head fluctuated as they spoke, "We are ready to gather data on the organic socializing practice known as "dating" Shepard-commander."

"Good, because we're almost late so let's get moving" Shepard hooked her arm around Legion's and walked towards their destination.

"This meeting would be more productive if Udina was present" the Asari councilor sighed.

"My advisor will not be joining us" Anderson's voice was bathed in confidence, "as councilor I speak with for the Alliance and all of humanity, Shepard will be here any-" Anderson was cut off by the door of the human embassy opening. He went from a smile to a look of shock.

"Anderson can we make this quick I've got other places to go" Shepard groaned as she talked up to the human councilor, who said nothing, only looked at her.

"What, not used to seeing me in a dress Dave?" she teased, "I am a person too, not just a soldier." Anderson wasn't the only one looking shocked. The council, even in their hologram forms, were visibly in awe of what they were seeing.

"Shepard…" Anderson sputtered, "is that a…geth…on your arm?"

"Oh, Legion you mean? Yeah, he's been sent by the geth on the Quarian home world, also known as the good geth that don't like to kill organics on sight, to study organics so I'm giving him first hand data on the practice of dating."

"this is an outrage commander!" the Turian councilor shouted, "first you work with Cerberus to abduct colonists, then you date a Geth? This is downright treasonous!"

"That's too far councilor!" Anderson interrupted, "I'm on this council too and I will not stand for this whitewashing. Shepard's helping the geth understand Organics and if it can stop them from being hostile I'm all for it and you should be too!"

"Right, but if you want an explanation, I suggest you pull up a chair because it's a long one" and so Shepard explained the tale of her suicide mission starting from her recruitment of Mordin, got a little teary eyed when she told the stories of Jacob and Tali's fathers, got worked up and angry retelling her shutting down of project overlord, how she wanted to beat the hell out of Ashley on Horizon (thankfully Garrus and Miranda were there to restrain her when she tried) warned them about how Samara was going to come after her when the reapers were defeated because of some of the choices she made during the entire mission, explained the rite of passage for Krogans and Mordin's work on the Genophage, much to the councils chagrin. She also explained how the geth she fought two years prior were the heretic geth and that she rewrote them so that they wouldn't be hostile to organics any longer and would return to the Quarian home world; how she let Zaeed die on Zorya because he couldn't be trusted to stay true to the mission, and how she found Lady liberty's head in Donovan hocks Vault; Anderson sent out orders to recover said head. Once she got to the assault on the collectors base the entire council was on the edge of their seats. She commended legion on its skill in the vents and hacking a collector door to get them into the heart of the base, how Miranda effectively lead both fire teams without losing a single member and how her team held the line when the collectors tried to stop Shepard from destroying a human reaper, which she sent the council a video she recorded with her Omni-tool of said human reaper as evidence as well as the video of her destroying it.

"Shepard…that's an astounding accomplishment" Anderson gasped as he let the stories sink into his mind. "what did you end up doing with the Collector base?"

"Oh I purged the remaining collectors and left it intact." She said offhandedly.

"you mean to tell me that you left the collectors base empty so Cerberus could get it's filthy hands on it?" the Turian councilor shouted.

"Oh will you give it a rest. After we came back I had EDI and Legion tinker with the Omega-4 Relay so it now allows Alliance and citadel IFF's safe passage and not plunging you guys into a black hole so you guys can see the base for yourselves. So chill the fuck out!"

"Shepard-commander is correct, any and all ships with Alliance and Citadel IFF's will be transported to the collector's base of operations, the debris field has been cleared to reduce ship destruction" Legion chimed in. "also it is believed from data found in the base that the reaper fleet is travelling at FTL speeds through dark space. This data pad includes schematics of the reaper leading the fleet" Legion handed Anderson a copy of the data pad with Harbinger's schematics on it.

"Now I dare you to deny the reaper threat after I hand you a mountain sized pile of evidence Councilor" Shepard shot the Turian Councilor an angry glare with her glowing red eyes.

"Alright Shepard, we acknowledge that the reapers are a direct threat to the Galaxy.

"And due to your efforts, we have reinstated your Specter status" the Asari councilor said with enthusiasm.

"And I am personally promoting you to an Admiral, Kallen. When we finish upgrading our ships with the technology from the collector base you'll be given a fleet of Anti-reaper dreadnaughts and will personally lead the charge against the reapers."

"We will also begin talks to aid you in the war against the reapers Shepard in any way we can." The Salarian Council nodded. Just then, the door to the human embassy Opened and Udina walked in.

"Anderson we need to talk about-" he stopped when he saw Shepard and Legion, "Shepard, you are alive, and you've brought a Geth to the citadel? This is an outrage!"

"Shut up Udina!" Shepard walked over to Udina and placed her designer heel's Kasumi got her for the heist right between Udina's legs with as much force as she could muster.

"We have reached a consensus." Legion stood up, "that kick has resulted in a history worthy victory for Shepard-Commander"

"Legion, I believe the human term is, epic win" Anderson said with a laugh, both at Shepard's kick to Udina and Legions remark. "Udina you may have just missed the most productive meeting in Galactic history and you just paid for it as well. Shepard he and I can handle it form here, get back to your Date with Legion, you've earned it".

"Thanks Anderson, Let me know if anything new comes up. Come on Legion" Shepard hooked her arm around Legion's once more and returned to the Normandy. Once aboard, they headed up to Shepard's loft.

"Shepard-commander we have completed our analysis of the human interaction known as dating. We must archive and relay this data to the rest of the Geth back in the AI core."

"Oh no you don't" Shepard closed the door behind her, standing between Legion and the exit. "you've only seen the tip of the iceberg of a date." She walked up to Legion and moved her hands over its shoulders and the piece of her old N7 armor. "you spent 2 years trying to find me, well now you've got me Legion."

"We are confused as to what course of action you are taking, Shepard-commander" Legion remarked as she walked the Geth over to her bed.

"Please, just call me Kallen" Shepard said softly.

"addendum, we are confused as to what course of action you're taking, Kallen-Commander"

"Well, you wanted me, now you're going to get me, all of me" She pushed Legion onto its back and surveyed the platform. "Legion, is there anything behind that codpiece?"

"Building consensus" Legion paused "…there is nothing that resembles a human males reproductive organ attached to this platform"

"Well, do you at least have a vibrate function?"

"Yes."

"Jackpot!"Kallen smiled devilishly at the geth in front of her and pulled the straps on her dress down her shoulders and let her dress fall to her feet revealing her nude body to Legion.

"building consensus….all 1,183 programs in this platform have agreed and Shepard commander is the finest model of an Organic being."

"oh you better believe it" Shepard snickered as she straddled Legion. "Activate that vibrate function now"

"As you order Kallen-commander"


	7. Emily Wong

A/N: Showing my favorite reporter some love ^^ REVIEW PLZ

Adam Shepard

Spacer

War Hero

Paragade Senteniel

* * *

"Shepard, who would you like to accompany you on your shore excursion" Edi asked from the airlock as the airlock pressurized to match the outside atmosphere of the citadel.

"No one, I'm doing this one solo EDI" Shepard said. He wasn't wearing his N7 armor, but the Tuxedo Kasumi got him, which was perfect for this occasion. He was going to fulfill a promise he made before he died.

After about ten minutes of walking he reached his destination and knocked on the door. "Coming!" A voice called from behind it, "How may I…Shepard! Is that you?" the woman smiled at the man on her door step.

"Hello Emily, I'm here for the interview I promised you 2 years ago." Shepard smiled at the reporter.

"Really? You remembered it through death? Wow! Come in come in." Emily motioned him into her apartment. "This is so unexpected, I'll just get something to get this on record and I'll be right with you." Shepard sat down on one of her two couches and awaited Emily's return.

"Alright" Emily sighed blissfully as she returned to the room, in a different outfit than the business casual outfit she wore when Shepard arrived, and now fit. She was accompanied by one of the floating recording devices Shepard encountered in his "interviews" with the reporter from Westerlund News. "Once I get this set up we can get this show on the road" after a few moments of tinkering the light one the device came on and shone a dim light on Shepard.

"This is Emily Wong of Citadel News Net, and I am here to bring you an exclusive interview with the first Human Spectre Lieutenant Commander Shepard of the Systems Alliance."

"Actually, I'm currently working with the Organization known as Cerberus" Shepard corrected her, "I've been working with them ever since they led a project two years ago to resurrect me from the dead after the original Normandy was destroyed in a surprise attack by the collectors."

"Cerberus? The Terrorist group that endorses radical pro-human behavior? That's a shock commander" Emily seemed a bit taken aback by this revelation by Shepard gave her a calming smile.

"While I don't endorse or condone any of Cerberus's past actions, they were the only ones who were doing anything to combat the collector menace when the council and Alliance turned a blind eye to their attack on human settlements. I was told by the council when they reinstated my spectre status that if I remained in the terminus systems I could do as I pleased with their blessing. The soldiers placed under my command by Cerberus were former Alliance servicemen and women who believed in what I stand for as a human and a leader against threats to the safety of the Galactic community."

"That's also surprising. The council made no mention of your return to the Citadel and there were only rumors that you appeared in the factory district and in the 800 blocks of the Zakera ward." Emily looked over a data pad that she brought with her filled with possible questions. "You mentioned working for Cerberus. If you can tell me anything what was it like working for an avowed enemy of the Citadel council?"

"There's a lot actually. I was brought back under the assumption that the collectors had a vast army and a home world beyond the Omega-4 Relay. I was given dossiers on 11 of the most talented specialists in the galaxy and recruit them to build a team to take on the collectors. That team includes 2 of my crew from my mission to take down Saren, Garrus Vakarian and Tali'Zorah vas Normandy. It also comprised of an Asari Justicar named Samara, skilled assassin Thane Krios, salarian genius Mordin Solus, a tank bred Krogan named Urdnot Grunt, Mercenary veteran Zaeed Massani , a very talented tech expert Kasumi Goto, and the most powerful human Biotic besides me a woman named Jack. Cerberus loaned me two of their top operatives; former Alliance Marine Jacob Taylor who, along with the other operative Miranda Lawson, helped stop a batarian group from releasing a virus that was being used as a bio weapon that was intended to kill the citadel council."

"So you're saying Cerberus stopped an assassination attempt on the Councils lives? When exactly was this?" Emily was now visibly joyful at the new information she was receiving, and all at once without a lot of effort on her part.

"That's correct. Once I received word from Jacob that this was true and was able to verify it, I began to take Cerberus more seriously and it made the mission a lot easier." Shepard felt a great deal of relief retelling his story to someone who'd actually listen and take in what he was saying.

"Please continue, what did you and your team end up doing once they were assembled?" Emily now realized that she was basically just guiding a giant snowball that was rolling down hill at this point, but a very very good downhill.

Shepard told the tales of several missions that involved stopping merc activity, the mech virus that was plaguing the galaxy, the collectors ship and even the derelict reaper.

"I had EDI record data of the reaper before we let it fall into the brown dwarf and the Geth platform I found, named Legion, has become a valuable part of my crew and I returned the favor by rewriting the Heretic geth that were controlled by Saren to see Legion's factions way of things, making them peaceful and not a threat to organic life. "you're welcome council" Shepard made a funny face towards the camera, making Emily laugh.

"so, you went around recruiting specialists for a team, what did your team end up finding once you travelled through the Omega-4 relay?" Emily asked, anticipating more good content for this ground breaking interview.

"Well we encountered the ship that was responsible for the destruction of the SR-1 and avenged the old girl, but the resulting explosion grounded the current Normandy so we split into two teams and fought our way into the heart of the base. Once we got there the collectors had us pinned so I had to take two squad mates with me while the rest defended the door, I must say Miranda did a wonderful job leading the second teams the entire way through while I got to the heart of the base. EDI felt a large energy signature and we also found out why the collectors were abducting human colonists…I hope you're ready for the answer" Shepard's tone was grim and his face turned solemn, "…they liquefied the captured colonists and used them as matter to create a human reaper."

"Oh my god" Emily was visibly shaken as images of the horrific process filled her mind. "you fought a fully functional reaper with regular arms and defeated it?"

"It wasn't fully functional yet, after I destroyed the injection tubes it mounted some resistance but after exploiting the weak points it was destroyed. I used a timed radiation pulse to kill the remaining collectors and spare the technology. I've forwarded the coordinates to the Alliance and Cerberus but I've received no word from the Alliance as to what they'll do with the evidence I've given them, same goes for the council." Shepard took a few deep breathes to calm himself down. "My team and I have been on leave for about two weeks now and I decided to pay you a visit since I promised you an interview when my mission was done. And here we are."

"My goodness Shepard, you've been to hell and back and seemed to have come out mostly unscathed, how did you manage to keep it together through all of this?"

"It wasn't easy, but with enough people counting on you and backing you anything is possible. I wouldn't be here today without the dedication and sacrifice my team showed when our backs were against the wall and an entire civilization counted on us, but we're not done yet" Shepard rose to his feet, the floating camera rising up to his level and closed on his face. "The reapers are coming, and it will take every organic being in this galaxy to defeat them, we need to set aside out differences, join together, and fight for the lives of our children and grandchildren so that they can live in a galaxy that won't be on the verge of destruction."

"My goodness Shepard, you've uncovered what so many would shy away from, you truly are the one man who can lead this Galaxy. With this story, your message will be heard throughout the galaxy and you can stop the reapers." Emily tinkered with the camera again and stopped recording and set of the file for distribution. "I don't know how I can thank you. It seem almost selfish for me to say this but, this will do wonders for my career"

"Anything I can do to help someone who wants to report the truth Emily." Shepard recovered from his intense mood and smiled warmly at the journalist.

"If you have time, I could get us some coffee, unless you've got someone waiting back on the ship for you…"

"Actually I don't have anyone. I've been so wrapped up in finding Saren and stopping the collectors that I haven't really had time for anything else." Shepard laughed sheepishly, " I'd enjoy sharing coffee with you Emily"

Emily made the two some coffee and shared stories of how her career took off because of how Shepard helped her with Fist's OSD and planting bugs in C-Sec control tower, along with other stories of how she'd have to jump through hoops to get stories when she was just starting up.

"Oh my, it's that late already" Shepard yawned big as he looked at the clock on the wall, showing 11 pm Citadel time.

"Time flies when conversation's good." Emily laughed, placing her mug on the coffee table. "I really appreciate you keeping your promise from 2 years ago. You can trust that I'll make sure your story is heard and heard how you want it to be."

"That's why I came to you Emily, you're trust worthy, hardworking and you know how to show a soldier a good time."

"The pleasure is all mine"

"It doesn't have to be you know." Shepard could read the look on her face, it'd been obvious since mid-way through the interview and Shepard was picking up her tells through the night.

"I thought you'd never ask Commander" Emily leaned in close, but slow enough for Shepard to close the gap between their lips. After about a minute shirts were rising over heads, skirts and pants were falling and 45 steamy minutes later Shepard and Emily laid on her couch, snuggled up after their "in depth" interview.


	8. Ashley

A/N: this is how I'd imagine the Cheif and Femshep getting down, first try at "smut"^^ REVIEW PLZ

Kallen Shepard

Spacer

Ruthless

Renegade Adept

* * *

"Crew Dismissed" Shepard sighed. Her crew stood saluted and left from the comm. Room to return to their stations on the SR-1. Once everyone left she sat in one of the chairs in the room and placed her head in her hands. She'd willingly sacrificed her Lieutenant so that the nuke could explode in Saren's base on Virmire. Kaiden, the one who understood her as a fellow biotic, the one she could come to if she was feeling down, the one who was most like her.

"Skipper?" Shepard looked up to see Ashley walking towards her.

"I thought I dismissed you Gunnery Chief" Shepard sniffed, holding herself back from breaking down.

"You did M'am, but I…I know you were close to LT and…I'm here for you if you need it." Ashley sat down next to Kallen and hesitated, but eventually put a caring hand on her shoulder.

"I'm alright Chief, I'm just…tired is all. We ran a lot to get to Saren's base" Shepard was normally very persuasive, but even she knew there was no way in hell Ashley was going to believe that lie.

"Skipper, I know you're one tough bitch, but it's okay to be broken up about this. You and LT had an understanding of one another because you're both biotics. It's like how we understand each other from being alliance brats. You had to choose, and LT made sure that bomb went off, there was nothing you could do. You saved that STG platoon and you saved me. We'll make LT's sacrifice worth something."

Shepard was silent for a few moments, soon she started shaking, and then slowly but surely she let her barriers down and burst into tears in Ashley's arms. "I…I've never been solely responsible for any of my men's deaths" she sobbed, "I put him in that position because he wanted to make sure it went off personally…I tried to save you and him at the same time but then Saren showed and stalled me…I wasn't good enough to save him!"

Ashley patted Shepard on the back as she sobbed and spoke in muffled words. "Let it out skipper._Death closes all: but something ere the end, Some work of noble note, may yet be done,  
Not unbecoming men that strove with Gods._"

"That…that was beautiful Chief" Shepard sniffed and wiped her eyes, her mascara was starting to run, but she really didn't care at this point.

"Yeah, I'm as good with poetry as I am with rifles…just don't go telling the entire ship."

"As long as you don't' tell everyone I break down like a paper house in pouring rain then I won't." Shepard laughed softly, "Thanks…Ashley. I really appreciate you…letting me cry on your shoulder."

"Don't mention it Skipper…tough girls like us have to let it out sometime" Ashley smiled at her commander, this moment reminding her of how she used to raise her sisters when she was younger, although she never remembered feeling a warm sensation on her lips when she let her sisters vent. Ashley broke out of her reminiscing to realize that Shepard was kissing her."Mmm…Mhm! Shepard!" Ashley broke the kiss and looked incredulously at her commander. She realized that she'd returned the kiss to a certain point. "I didn't know you were…"

"I-I didn't either, I just…I wasn't thinking and…I'm sorry If I crossed a line Ash…"

"No it's…you and…whoa…uh, I'll be…at my station." Ashley stood up feeling very flustered and made a bee line for the lower decks. Shepard stood up and composed herself. After a few deep breathes she exited the comm. Room and walked over to the Galaxy map and in turn set a course for the citadel.

After the ordeal with the council and being locked down, Shepard was fuming in her cabin, lashing out at any crew member dumb enough to enter. Much to her displeasure her door swished open again.

"I thought I told you to get the fuck-Ashley?" Shepard was surprised to see Ashley above the hold.

"I said I'd be here if you needed me, and after that railroading by the council and Udina, I'd say you need someone right about now." Ashley approached her commander, still a little wary after their last encounter, but still open to helping nonetheless.

"Ash…I know things got a little weird last time, but I promise, it won't ever happen again." Shepard looked at Ashley's blank face, looking for some sort of response.

"Skipper…no, Kallen. You surprised me the other day, when you…kissed me…" Ashley looked the other way as she got further along. Shepard was starting to get fearful, knowing how religious Ashley was, this couldn't have been a good sign. "and…I…I know I can recite poetry at the drop of a hat but…when it comes to my thoughts I just…can't…"

"I'm not sure I follow Ash, are you saying your faith is against what happened or?"

"No...that's not…what I mean is…"Suddenly Ashley placed her hands on Shepard's shoulders and pressed her lips against Shepard's.

"Commander" Joker's voice filled the room, startling both women into breaking apart. "Captain Anderson says to meet him at Flux, its important"

"Joker, were you spying on me?" Shepard demanded angrily.

"Nope, just pinged the whole floor, you better get to that club Shepard."

After meeting with Anderson and sending him to Udina's office, Shepard got the Normandy back up and out of the citadel in a heartbeat on a collision course for Ilos. Later that night Ashley visited again, talking about how fun it was to be on the run from the law and to be renegades not under any regulations. This segued back into their attraction.

"Get over here" Shepard demanded playfully.

"Make me" Ashley fired back.

"Alright, you asked for it" Shepard grabbed Ashley and pressed her lips onto her once more, their bodies were soon in harmony as they continued to kiss. They soon found themselves laying on Shepard's bed and tearing at the other's clothing. Shepard admired Ashley's finely toned body, sculpted by the same military training she was given. Shepard gained the top position and wasn't going to let go of it anytime soon. She placed kisses all over Ashley's breasts hoping to keep her subdued. This wasn't the case as Ashley soon turned the tables and pinned Shepard to her stomach.

"Tsk tsk Commander, fraternization on an alliance ship? Sounds like someone's broken Regs, I guess I'll just have to punish you myself" Ashley giggled playfully and gave Shepard a hard slap on her bottom. She followed up with repeated slaps, alternating cheeks. Shepard found an opening and transitioned herself back into the dominant position, her butt still stinging from Ashley's punishments.

"Looks like you've pissed off a spectre Gunnery Chief, we're above the laws of any single government, so I'll just have to enact justice on you" Shepard forcibly opened Ashley's legs and placed one of hers over Ashley's to keep her in place and connected them at the hips. Shepard pressed their hips together and felt her body shudder in ecstasy. She grinded their hips together over and over, the pleasure seemingly controlling her now, egging her on making her want more.

"ah…ah…god!" Ashley cried, as she slammed her hand on the bed repeatedly, signaling surrender, but Shepard wasn't about to let up and continued on her quest for complete satisfaction.

"No God Ashley, only me." Shepard laughed as she continued to dominate Ashley, who looked as if she was hanging on for dear life. Once Shepard reached her limit she pushed her body against Ashley's and they laid next to each other, not speaking, just making eye contact. They'd come to an understanding, one only they would ever be able to obtain when the other was around. "You need more PT Chief." Shepard smirked victoriously.


	9. Jack

A/N: Introducing a new Femshep, and doing this one on a request so read and REVIEW PLZ ^_^

Angela Shepard

Earthborn

Ruthless

Renegade Adept

* * *

Jack rolled over in her cot to face the wall. She knew it'd just be a matter of time before her favorite guest returned, and by favorite she meant the only woman that she would hesitate against if they went head to head. Jack knew she was a badass Biotic bitch, but Shepard…she was on a completely different level. Jack's ears picked up the swish of doors overhead and the sound of footsteps against the metal stairs that led to this part of engineering.

Jack pretended to be asleep but creaked her eyes open just enough to see Shepard walking towards her, only she seemed different.

"Rise and Shine Jack" Shepard whispered, malice bathing her tone as she walked over to the convicts bed.

Jack tried her best to remain still and keep her eyes closed.

"Rise…and...SHINE!" Jack felt herself rise from the cot and then fall as if she'd be shot out of a cannon.

"What the hell Shepard" Jack finally saw why Shepard looked different, she was in her underwear, which registered in jacks head and gave her flashbacks of her time on purgatory. "What do you want from me, I told you I didn't wanna be in your little girls club."

"I'm sorry you feel that way Jack, but you see, this is my ship and" a blue glow covered Shepard's arms and she pulled Jack towards her with biotics until they were face to face, "I get what I want" Shepard's bright red eyes and matching scars put the fear of god into Jack every time she saw them, Shepard was the only person she knew who's appearance told the entire story, pure, unfiltered anger. "so, I believe you remember what happens during 'Shower time' right Jack?"

"Come on Shepard, you know Chambers goes both ways, why not just have your way with her, or the cheer leader, she's got melons!"

"Been there, done them, Miranda actually went along with it, and you're right, she does have melons." Shepard was tugging at Jack's vest, which she got after she felt like wearing more than just a belt over her breasts, Sheppard ripped the vest in half and both pieces fell to the floor, leaving Jack's chest open. Jack broke free of Shepard's grip and tried to make a break for it, but Sheppard pounced like a tiger and pinned Jack to the floor right in front of the steps. Shepard placed her boot on Jack's head, and used her hands to yank Jack's pants down to her ankles. "Hmm, Miranda may have the rack, but you've got the nicest ass Jack" Shepard slammed her left hand on to Jack's right cheek, forcing the convict to cry out in pain.

"Please Shepard, not like this" Jack pleaded, but they fell upon deaf ears and Shepard snaked two fingers inside of Jack immediately hitting on of her spots. While Jack shook her head in protest her body betrayed her with the loud moan of pleasure that flew from her mouth.

"now we're talking" Shepard laughed as she pulled her panties down and shook her bra off. Shepard pulled Jack's hips upwards and then lifted jack off the ground all together. "Just sit back and relax Jack, it'll all be over soon" Shepard then gave Jack's wet area a slow, torturous lick.

Jack couldn't believe how helpless she felt, dangling in the air, unable to break her commanders grip while she licked her like a melting ice cream cone."She-She-Shepard!" Jack could barely get her name out, much less the plea she was trying to make. She could feel her feet starting to tingle and her toes curling up.

"Shut up and lick me bitch" Shepard lowered herself to her knees, dropping her own wetness right onto jacks mouth, then rubbed it over her lips to taunt the biotic. Shepard was now using two hands to attack Jack and enjoyed the sight of her body squirming from the overwhelming pleasure.

"Gonna…gonna…ah!" Jack couldn't hold out any longer as she felt the pleasure wash over her. Shepard felt her fingers get more and more moist.

"I don't feel any licking!" Shepard jammed her fingers inside jack deeper then felt Jack's tongue begin to lap against her. Jack's breathing made her licking feel even better and Shepard rocked her hips in rhythm with Jack's tongue.

"Mama likes…" Shepard sighed as Jack increased her licking speed, bringing her closer and closer to climax. After a few more moments, Shepard reached her limit and bucked her hips back into jacks face with a roar of pleasure. To add to jacks humiliation Shepard wiped herself on Jack's face, leaving visible wetness behind once she stood up.

"Who's the biggest bitch in the galaxy?" Shepard asked victoriously.

"Shepard is…" Jack panted, "that's why I love you" Jack wore a silly grin on her face.

"Damn, you couldn't keep a straight face huh?" Shepard broke her character and laughed

"I can't even control my face hun, you got me good. Who knew you could be so rough?" Jack laughed as she sat up.

"Well, next time, let's have kinky time in my room, my knees hurt from the hard flooring down here " Shepard winced as she pulled her panties up her legs.

"Ha, you sound like a pussy" Jack taunted.

"What was that?" Shepard's biotics flared up again.

"Nothing Shepard, you're good, you're damn good."

"you bet your ass I am, now get ready, we've got a collector home world to attack"

"Yes M'am"


	10. Asari Councilor

A/N: Set in Mass Effect 1. REVIEW PLZ ^_^

Legend Shepard

Earthborn

War Hero

Paragon Sentinel

* * *

"Come on the meeting's started" Anderson motioned to Shepard. Udina was yelling at the council as Shepard arrived talking about how the council was dragging their feet to help out humanity.

"The turians don't set up colonies by the borders of the Terminus systems Ambassador" The Salarian Councilor responded.

"But Eden Prime is still in council space so you should be helping us!" Shepard shouted, "But yet again humanity has to fend for itself, no surprise there"

"We are at our limit's here Commander," the Turian councilor interjected, " first you bring up the myth of the Reapers when you accused Saren of treason, but we can't take action for Eden prime because a Fleet of Council ships would cause unrest in the terminus systems which could lead to full scale war."

"You politicians never get anything done, always worried about what others think. If you're scared of the terminus systems just say so, but I've got a rogue spectre to catch" commander Shepard left the meeting.

After rescuing Liara T'soni...

"Shepard, we've received you report from Therum. I'm glad you've successfully rescued Dr. T'soni "The Asari councilor said cheerfully.

"But was it absolutely necessary to destroy a Prothean ruin?" The Turian councilor asked.

"It was either that or leave her in there with a bunch of geth and Krogan, you try saving the ruin with them firing at you." Shepard glared at the Turian councilor.

After restoring Feros back to operating efficiency and saving Shiala to let her help the colony…

"An interesting report on your mission to Feros Commander" the Salarian councilor mused.

"Yes, you defeated the geth incursion and saved the colonists" the Asari councilor commended, "an impressive feat"

"I'm sure the commander would do anything to save a human colony" the Turian councilor huffed.

"I don't need this" Shepard growled as the three holograms disappeared.

"Communications cut commander" Joker laughed over the intercom. "Oh wait, in coming transmission, patching it through to the comm. Room."

Shepard turned to see just one hologram appear, the Asari councilor.

"Commander, I'm sorry for that last transmission. My colleague can be, abrasive at times."

"Uh…it's alright, there's bad blood between turians and humans" Shepard seemed taken aback by the apology coming from the Asari councilor.

"I hope this doesn't affect your opinion of the council, keep up the good work in your hunt for Saren" and the hologram vanished.

"That was weird" Shepard said as he walked out of the comm. room.

After the mission on Noveria, Rachni in peak 15 exterminated, saved the Queen.

"Are these reports accurate commander? You found Rachni on Noveria?" the Asari councilor was still looking at the report on her datapad.

"And you let the Queen live? Are you sure you're ready to deal with the repercussions?"

"Sorry we're not all trigger happy like you, Turian. Some of us actually have compassion and the Queen showed that she did too. There won't be a second Rachni war because I saved a good Rachni Queen."

"I agree with the commanders decision." The Asari councilor chimed, " it says here that Rachni memories are passed down through queens, and that this Queen knew the mistakes of her ancestors. I'm glad you chose to be above genocide Commander"

"Yes, well I hope you still feel that way when they attack the council spe-" the commander couldn't bear to listen to more of the Turian councilors complaining, and once again another transmission came through on the same channel as the last time and the Asari councilor appeared alone.

"Once Again, I feel you did the right thing by sparing the Rachni Queen so her species can have a second chance. I see we made the right decision in appointing you a Spectre, if you would like I can offer you advice on any decisions you may need to make, it's my duty as a Councilor and a Matriarch. You've earned it commander." And she vanished.

After Virmire and the Normandy's lockdown.

Shepard made his way through the embassies since he was locked out of his own ship he might as well cash in on the offer of the Asari councilor, who seemed sympathetic to him now that he was seemingly relieved of his duties.

"ah Commander" the Asari councilor said as Shepard walked through the door to the Asari embassy. It was much more lavish than the Human and Elcor embassies, there was carpeting and a couple of couches facing the desk of the Asari councilor.

"I'm here for your advice…I guess" Shepard was still taking in his surroundings as he made his way into the office and the door swished shut behind him.

"Well I'm happy to offer it" the councilor motioned for Shepard to have a seat then she took her seat behind her desk.

"Well as you know I'm locked out of the Normandy and she's grounded while the Alliance prepares for Saren, but I know where he is and it's preventing me from doing my job." Shepard was now fantasizing about taking out his frustrations on Udina.

"Well Commander, it is a difficult position. Saren and his fleet of Geth are too much for one ship to handle and Saren might have a trap set for you should you choose to follow him and our best Spectre is lost to us should he choose to attack the Citadel. I can see why they want to keep you here." Shepard looked a bit disappointed, "but I can also see why you should go chasing after Saren, it would be like taking the head off of an opponent, once it's gone the body just falls to the ground."

"Wow that was very…violent."Shepard was caught off guard.

"I have nearly 1000 years of life experience Commander, I've been around the Galaxy a few times. You have a unique, charismatic aura to you Commander. Use it wisely and you can accomplish nearly anything."

"I'll remember that. The consort told me something along those lines saying that my actions would shape the Galaxy before she had her way with me."

"Oh my, well now that I've given you my advice do I get the same privilege?" she shot Shepard a seductive wink.

"Why not?" Shepard shrugged and approached her.

"Wait really?" she seemed quite shocked, "what said was in jest, I'm a matriarch Shepard, I wasn't expecting…"

"I don't mind, you're quite attractive and you've helped me out, it's the least I can do." Shepard stood behind her and began to rub her shoulders.

"Well…alright then" the councilor closed her eyes and when they reopened they were black, "embrace eternity" She turned to face Shepard. They removed their clothing and the councilor pushed Shepard onto one of the couches. She straddled his waist then lowered herself to take Shepard in. Her biotic corona flared and Shepard couldn't help but feel himself melt inside her. She bounced repeatedly on Shepard moaning out as she did. She'd stop every few bounces to let the commander get a face full of her breasts. After 45 minutes Shepard finally regained his composure and turned the tables. He pinned the councilor on the floor and began to drive himself into her.

"Shepard you're taking me to my limits!" she cried out as her toes curled in the air. She let out a scream of ecstasy and used her biotics to aid Shepard to the same pleasure.

"By the Goddess Commander…you are simply amazing."


	11. The Illusive Man

A/N: For ELE08 and Mashavasilec

Teagan Shepard

Earthborn

Soul Survivor

Renegon Soldier

* * *

"Shepard…calling to gloat about the destruction of the collector base?" The Illusive man was still seething from her decision to destroy a valuable resource and from Miranda resigning, leaving Cerberus damn near bankrupt and resource less.

"You know me so well Tim" Shepard laughed from the comm. room of the now fully repaired Normandy. "Oh and to tell you that this is a recording and you should hear a loud noise in a few seconds"

"I should hear a what?" and on cue the door behind him was dented by something powerful slamming against it. TIM stood up eyes widening as he heard something else from beyond the door.

"I. AM. KROGAN!" the door flew off its hinges with Okeer's Krogan pushing it further into the room and past him.

"Hey there Timmy" Shepard walked through the door leisurely looking around the room "Check out that Sun!" she said in an excited tone, running past The Illusive man and looking at the bright blue star.

"Shepard…you're not in your armor…so you're not here to kill me?" TIM felt relief that she wasn't shoving a gun in his face and shouting for some reason.

"Kill you" she shook her head, "I'm not here to kill you. While I don't approve of what you've done, including killing my squad on Akuze, you brought me back to life. So to answer you question" Sheppard sauntered up to him and ran her fingers up to his lips, "I'm going to fuck your brains out." She whispered seductively.

"…Come again?" his glowing blue eyes were full of confusion brought by the current events.

"Oh I'll come again…and again,, and again!" Shepard pushed him back into his chair and straddled his waist. "I've wanted to thank you for some time." Shepard kissed TIM on the neck repeatedly in between sentences "and now you get to see if your 4 billion credits were worth it." Shepard was using her seductive voice which was time tested. Once she used it while yelling at Joker and visibly got a "reaction" from him.

"Well…what did you have in mind?"

"I'm not wearing any panties" was the straw that set TIM off. His eyes squinted and he tightened up his entire body.

"Alright Shepard, but I like to lead" TIM Stood up with and held Shepard up.

"then get to leading before I turn bitchy and dominate you" TIM used his free hand to undo his belt and to pull his boxers down while Shepard took her arms out of the straps of her dress and pulled the bottom up to give TIM easy access and he took the free pass for all it's worth.

"There we go" Tim breathed once he was finally inside her and started to thrust.

"Has it been a while Timmy? You call that fucking me?" Shepard taunted while she bounced on the leader of Cerberus. She stayed true to her word and swept his feet out from under him which caused him to hit her spot when he landed. "OH!" she yelped.

Shepard grinded her hips against TIM's so he'd continue to stimulate her.

"Miranda did a better job than I thought" Tim thought as he moved his tongue over the former Spectre's breasts vigurously. "Looks like someone's happy to see me" he joked noticing her erect nipples.

"You're not even being serious" Shepard tightened her body by flexing, wiping the grin off of TIM's face.

"That better?" Tim slapped her ass as he tried to take control back from her but she pressed her breasts back into his face to stop him.

"I did that, not you, now just sit still" Shepard continued to bounce herself into ecstasy along with her new boy toy.

"Wow Shepard…"TIM panted, "I haven't had that much fun in….quite some time." As he reached for a cigar, Shepard took it and the light out of his hands and lit it for herself.

"Well I'm satisfied now and I fulfilled my end of the bet."

"Bet?" TIM asked.

"Yeah, I bet Miranda that Joker could run a 40 yard dash in 30 seconds and he ran in it 32 so I ended up having to fuck you. She's the one who gave me the coordinates for this place."

"that bitch!"

"I'll say, well, time to die!" Shepard pulled her pistol out of seemingly thin air and put a round in The Illusive man's head.

* * *

"AH!" it had been a nightmare, a really weird one.

"you okay baby?" the woman next to him sat up, using the sheets to cover her chest.

"Yeah…just a weird dream. I dreamt that a female Shepard and the Illusive man from Mass effect 2 had wild sex in his hideout and then she killed him."

"Wow Martin…that sounds like a very bad fan fiction idea for some fan girls."

"I'll say Jennifer, it was the worst dream I ever had."

"Will round 2 take your mind off of it?"

"You know it."

* * *

A/N: yeah...Jen Hale and Martin Sheen...WHAT A TWIST!


	12. Tali'Zorah vs Normandy

A/N: For All you Talimancers (side note: THIS chapter wil probably get the most reviews)

Kat Shepard

Colonist

War Hero

Paragon Engineer

* * *

"Tali, do you have a minute?" Shepard asked as she entered the engineering deck.

"Sure" the Quarian nodded toward the drive core where she and the commander usually had their chats, away from Ken and Gabby. "I'd like to thank you again for helping me with the trail, I don't know what would have happened if you weren't there for me."

"you deserved better than that Tali. You just got caught up in the admiralty board's politics. I think you should've had more time to mourn your father "

"I think Life's not about what you deserve, but thank you Shepard." Tali's Omni-tool started to beep" Oh come on you little bosht'et! I'm sorry, I'm running a small fever and I'm taking it out on the poor drive core."

"How do you get sick?"

"In short if we have exposure to the outside world out body fights infections and we have allergic reactions. That's why the biggest sign of trust for a Quarian is to link suit environments with another person."

Shepard raised her eyebrows in interest, "Have you ever linked suits with anyone Tali?"

"Not yet. I do have someone in mind though…"

"I'd be honored Tali" Shepard said, she knew full well who Tali was talking about.

"I would too, if you were a man that is."

"Wait…what?" Shepard was thrown for a loop with Tali's response. "But…I thought you trusted me after all we've been through?"

"I do Shepard. It's just that…you're a woman…I'm a woman…Linking suits is also a sign of intimacy and well…I never really thought about you that way I just assumed we were really close friends."

"But Tali we don't have to be opposite genders to be together" Shepard took Tali's hands into her own.

"Well it was pretty Heroic of you when you saved me from fist and took me on an adventure across the galaxy to defeat the forces of evil. I…I just don't know Shepard."

"Tali, EDI's been telling me about your download history of interspecies romance, especially the one about humans in relationships."

"She what? But that was because I erm…thought you and Jacob were getting into a relationship and I wanted to learn more about how humans…like to…oh Keelah." Tali looked away from Shepard's smirking face now that her secret was out.

"Aha, so you were thinking about it. Tali'Zorah vas Normandy, you were thinking of having sex with me!"

"Not so loud!" Tali rushed to put her hands over Shepard's mouth then looked to see if Ken or gabby heard anything. "Okay, maybe I entertained thoughts about it, because well…I think you're very beautiful and…I sort of…"

"you sort of…what Tali?" Shepard couldn't help but give her a soft smile.

"I sort of…want to be like you. You're strong, smart, independent. I mean, you got Wrex in line at Virmire by punching him in the groin repeatedly and then you said "that should feel worse than any Genophage" and just walked away."

"Yeah…not my proudest moment" Shepard always felt embarrassed when someone would bring up her old attitude. She'd become much nicer after being given a second chance at life by Cerberus. "Yeah I'm not the badass I used to be"

"but I like you this way. If I'd told you this a few years ago you might have attacked me or done something terrible."

"Actually I probably would have called you a horny teenager just looking to bang me and tell the other Quarians. I was in high school too Y'know." Shepard couldn't help but giggle at her own joke, as did Tali.

"I see your point. But maybe if I do some research and take some medication then maybe we could…give it a shot?"

"I'd love nothing more. You hurry up and get to researching, Gabby and Ken can take care of the engines, That's a captains order." Shepard caressed the side of Tali's helmet as she walked away to return to her duties.

"Yes M'am" Tali gasped as she checked out her commander before returning to her station.

After the collectors attack the Normandy…

Shepard sat in her loft contemplating how the collector home world would be and how they'd attack it with Millions of collectors ready to fight back. She looked up as EDI's blue Avatar popped up from it's console.

"Commander, the elevator has just arrived at this deck. Tali'Zorah is the sole occupant. Should I let her in?"

"Yes EDI, thanks for the alert." Shepard stood up and walked up the stairs towards the door.

"I'm happy to assist you Kat." The Avatar disappeared and the door opened to reveal Tali with her back turned to it. Kat could hear her mumbling something.

"Hey Shepard…no… um Kat I'm ready for our date…no that won't work either. Keelah I'm terrible at this." Tali jumped as she felt a pair of hands snake around her waist along with a warm sensation on her back.

"Practicing are we?" Kat whispered as she hugged Tali from behind. "That's so cute"

"Shepard! How long were you standing there?" Tali felt her face get hot from embarrassment but welcomed Shepard's embrace.

"Just a few seconds. Come on in." the two walked into Shepard's loft and closed the door behind them. They walked over to the couch and sat down. "so Tali, have you done your research?"

"I did in fact. Dr. Chakwas gave me some antibiotics and some boosters for my immune system. I never thought that you'd actually take a romantic interest in me, it's just. I've admired you from afar and…I'm sorry when I get nervous I talk a lot because of the helmet people cant' see my facial expressions so I have to talk to express everything I feel and it's…" Shepard reach up to her visor so she could remove Tali's mask. Tali reached up and assisted Kat in the process, "Hard to show how I feel."

"My God Tali…you're stunning." Shepard gasped as she dropped the visor for Tali's helmet and stared back into her golden eyes and tan skinned face. "How…I thought being in that suit would have made you paler than a ghost."

"Well our suits have small filters for light radiation and it filters our harmful rays so our skin can look healthy and have color for when we do take our suits off for whatever reason." Tali smiled at the look of pleasant disbelief on Shepard's face.

"And you've got a dazzling smile too."

"you're too kind Shepard" Tali pulled the rest of her helmet off of her head to reveal a head full of silver hair tied back in a bun. "I can assume by your look that you love my hair?" Shepard could only nod in response, obviously rendered speechless by the hidden beauty Tali had. "Shepard, say something"

"Let's go" Shepard grabbed Tali's hands and escorted her over to Shepard's bed. It seemed Tali got the message because before Shepard could sit down Tali was already kissing her and pushed her onto her back. "You're very Eager" Shepard laughed as Tali climbed on top of her.

"Sorry if I got carried away."

"I like eager" Shepard said lustfully as she undid the buttons on her Cerberus captain's jacket while Tali undid the straps on her suit. Tali's body was the same color of her face and was toned from all the fighting she'd gone through." How'd you fit underwear in your suit? Is that lace?"

"Well yeah…I was trying out human fashions a while back and I took a liking to it. Keelah Kat, I didn't know you had this under your armor all those years ago." Tali said as she marveled at Kat's breasts.

"I didn't Miranda bumped me up an entire cup size when they rebuilt me. She said I could thank her later." Kat unhooked her bra and pulled it off of her shoulders. "I've shown you mine, now show me yours"

"that was terrible" Tali said flatly, "But alright" Tali removed her lace bra and threw it aside.

"Tali I can't take it anymore, put your hands on me!" Tali did as she was told and made a trail of kisses from Shepard's breasts back to her mouth. The pair tried their damndest to remove their panties while kissing and eventually did so. Shepard's hands found their way to Tali's ass and gave it a firm squeeze.

"Oh!" Tali yelped, "I should have known you'd do that" Tali laughed as she was turned onto her back by her commander. Shepard's ass grab was reciprocated with Tali giving her a firm slap on the ass.

"Ow, so you like it rough huh?" Shepard placed her hand right on Tali's spot and rubbed it slowly causing Tali's toes to curl.

"Ooooooooh Keeeeeeelah!" Tali wrapped her legs around Shepard's waist as the pleasure took control of her.

"Enjoying ourselves are we?" Shepard wasn't smirking for long though, Tali sat up and squeezed Kat's breasts. "I never pegged you as a boob lover"

"Kat, let's get down to it, shall we?" Tali winked once she regained her composure and laid Shepard on her back then straddled her face.

"I couldn't have said it better myself" Kat giggled as she lapped her tongue against Tali. After giving off a loud moan Tali returned the favor to her Commander and it was a race to see which one of them would be satisfied first. After several minutes Shepard stopped because the pleasure was becoming too much for her to bear so she tapped out on Tali's ass to signal her defeat. "you win Tali'Zorah…OH!"

"Damn, but I'm not satisfied-oh! I think I spoke too…too...soon!" Tali moaned as Kat finished her off. Afterwards the two women laid next to each other softly caressing various parts of the others body.

"Tali…that was amazing" Shepard sighed with her hands on her lovers hips.

"You said it. Your skin is so soft, I could touch it forever." Tali rubbed Shepard's lower back and felt something odd. "what's this" Tali leaned over to look and saw a tattoo. "Sheppard is that a tramp stamp? ...Baddest bitch in the Galaxy…"

"I'm going to kill Miranda for not removing that."


	13. Suggestions

A/N: a funny idea inspired by jlb524, Ashwraith, Delerious_Jedi, Upsettingshorts, and Sagequeen. Enjoy. XD

Angela Shepard

Spacer

Ruthless

Paragade Infiltrator

* * *

"You know Miranda; I just don't get it sometimes." Shepard sighed as she watched the Cerberus officer put her arms back into the sleeves of her black Cerberus body suit "Why does it seem like everywhere I go everyone just wants to get in my panties?"

"Well you are an amazingly compelling individual and there's this aura about that's just…indescribable. And I feel your pain it's the curse of being such a beautiful woman."

"Yeah Thanks, since you rebuilt me and all I guess that's why you came up here to seduce me again" Shepard said in a coy tone.

"Oh you like it when I do this"

Well how can I not? You know all my spots, even some I don't… my earlobe though, and you must have done that!"

"I did no such thing!" Anyway your meeting is in a few hours so you should start getting ready" Miranda exited the loft leaving Shepard by herself in her loft.

"Ugh. Miranda and her stupid…makeovers" Shepard scoffed as she looked in her armor locker for her N7 underwear and Bra when EDI's Avatar appeared beside it.

"Shepard, the elevator has arrived on the deck."

"Who's in it?"

"It is Mr. Moreau"

"Oh, well let him in" once Shepard was properly, if barely, covered the door opened and Joker hobbled in. "Hey Joker, I'm surprised you're letting EDI steer the Normandy while you're up here. Why are you up here again?"

"Well I…um…I kind of wanted to…ah I suck at this"

"Well you suck anyway, but seriously what's wrong?" Shepard asked, putting hand a on her ace's shoulder.

"Well…I'm terrible at expressing myself...but I…ah to hell with it" without warning Joker grabbed Shepard by her shoulders and pressed his lips against her and proceeded to kiss her with more passion than she expected.

"Mmm...Mmm...Joker!" Shepard managed to break away from his mouth but made sure not to push him because of his bones, "what the hell was that?"

"Well I..I love you I have since you saved me on the old Normandy. I know it was a pipe dream since you had Alenko, but I thought I had a shot after he dissed you on Horizon. I know I make sarcastic jokes but when it's real I just...lock up…"

"Joker that's sweet but…Hey watch the hands!" Shepard backed away once she felt something on her lower back. "Oh no...the curse!" Shepard darted up the stairs and out of her room into the elevator.

"Which deck would you like to go to?" Edi asked form the panel.

"Any deck that's not this one" Shepard watched as the elevator descended to deck 3 and the door opened, "Hey EDI, I'd like you to open up the AI Core, so Joker can't find me there when he comes to look for me." After walking through Dr. Chakwas office Shepard entered the AI core room and locked the door behind her.

"Shepard, are you feeling well?" EDI's avatar asked her.

"I should be alright…I just need a friend to talk to right now"

"Well I've been working on something with some of the tech that was left over from the Lazarus project that was stored on the ship and made this" a pod in the back of the room lit up and opened to reveal what looked like a human female, almost the same build as Shepard but with a completely different face. The eyes opened and they glowed a similar shade of blue like EDI's Avatar.

"EDI…is that you?"

"Yes, this is a back up device for my hardware should anything happen to the ship, and before you ask, I left the controls of the ship to Mr. Moreau who has returned to his post. He seems to be in a bitter mood." EDI walked over to Shepard. "Now what is it that you wanted to talk about commander?"

"Well…It's just…I feel like I'm a sex icon for people, like they only follow my orders because they think that they'll have a shot at me if they do. Miranda is always trying to seduce me, Joker just tried to get me out of my underwear…Hey! Bad A.I!" Shepard was cut off again by EDI's new body slowly pulling at the straps on her bra. "You're an AI you're not even supposed to have emotions.

"I am sorry Shepard, but in this body I am as human as you are, and right now I just cannot resist the urge to put my hands on you… it's like opening a massive data file full of encrypted data I just can't help-"Shepard fired up her Omni-tool and used AI Hacking on EDIs body to put her back in the ship then sprinted back to her room and stayed there until they arrived at the collector ship.

After receiving her widow rifle and finding out the ship was a trap…

"Get down!" Shepard dove behind one of the chest high walls on the collector's ship and watched as a harbinger possessed collector blast Garrus and Samara with concussive rounds and advanced on her.

"IF I MUST TEAR YOU APART SHEPARD I WILL!" Shepard looked to blast Harbinger with a round from her widow but her HUD told her that she was out of ammo, period.

"Crap!" Harbinger leaped over the wall she was hiding behind then smacked her rifle away from her.

"I KNOW YOU FEEL THIS!" Harbinger shouted through his clone and Shepard braced herself for one of his fireballs, but instead felt a soothing sensation in her nether regions.

"Oh yeah...mama likes…wait...OH COME ON!" Shepard punched the clone after it felt her up and backed away, "Even the reapers want to rape me, this is ridiculous!" Shepard used her rifle as a melee weapon and beat the harbinger clone into dust when he released it then proceeded to escape the ship before it came back online.

When she finally takes Anderson up on his offer….

"Ah yes reapers" the Turian councilor said and put his air quotes in Shepard's face since the council graciously came to the human embassy for the meeting. "You may be good looking but there's nothing in that head of yours besides the myth of the reapers."

"They're…did you just call me good looking?" Shepard backed way slowly from the councilor as the door opened.

"Shepard? You're here!" Udina said in awe, "I heard you were back but…ahem, I know I was a jerk to you for years...but it was just a façade because I thought you liked jerks and oh to hell with it" Udina puckered up and advanced on the newly reinstated spectre but received a fist instead of lips.

"Is this entire universe so horny that they can only think of Having sex with me?" She screamed out of exasperation as she fired her pistol a few times to get everyone away from her before using citadel rapid transit to get back to her ship. When she returned, nearly everyone on the ship was holding flowers and proclaiming their love for her, men and women alike, including Legion speaking about the degrees of compatibility they had which had her literally running for her sexual life.

"So when do you think the pheromones will wear off?" Kasumi asked Mordin as they watched Shepard run through the lab and into the hallway to the armory followed by the rest of the crew.

"Should wear off in a few hours, the dose was effective yes?"

"Oh yeah, I knew it'd be fun to spray it on her while she slept but I didn't think it'd get this fun, Thanks for getting me the antidote, I like Shep, but she'd run me ragged."

"Thank you Kasumi, the data from this multi species pheromone will be the second most difficult work since modified Genophage, will be remembered forever for medical and scientific brilliance."

"And known for entertaining me. Well I've got a flash bang grenade to deploy to make sure Shep doesn't get gangbanged in the cargo deck. Have fun with your data!" and Kasumi cloaked out of sight.


	14. Urdnot Wrex

A/N: For Rynluna, the loveable Dino.

Kallen Shepard

Colonist

Ruthless

Renegade Vanguard

* * *

"Come on Shepard" Wrex growled, "you got nothing squishy woman"

"Oh yeah, does that Genophage affect your brain too? Because you must forget I'm the butcher of Torfan so what makes you think one Krogan is gonna stand in my way Wrex."Shepard stood unfazed as Wrex pointed a shotgun at her. She was trying to convince him to go along with the plan to destroy Saren's cloning facility and the Genophage cure along with it.

"I thought you respected me enough to know that this means everything for my people"

"You mean the people you told me that you've given up on. Remember there's no going back. So what you turned into a pussy on me Wrex, I thought you of all people had your emotions in check, WILLIAMS keep your ass where you are, I do not what you interfering in this!" Shepard barked as Ashley crept back to her spot beside Kaiden.

"Don't pull that crap with me Shepard, I can make them listen if I bring them a cure, without it their blind fools who won't listen to reason"

"Oh I'm sorry, I thought we were talking about Krogans not Salarians. All you Krogan are is bloodthirsty dinosaurs who waste your long life spans fighting and dying so why waste a precious cure on them when they'll just fight themselves into extinction. If you can't get them to follow you without a cure then you're no better than a Grunt. True leadership doesn't come with victory in hand, true leadership comes when victory is impossible. Alenko!"

"Yes Commander!" Kaiden straightened at attention.

"Punch Garrus in the mouth, without biotics"

"Yes M'am!" Alenko turned to Garrus, giving him an "I'm sorry for this" look and knocked him to the ground with the hardest punch he could muster.

"Tali!"

"Yes Shepard!" Tali also stood at attention, despite not even being in the Alliance.

"Kick Ashley in the shins and punch Liara in her stomach" moments Later Ashley yelped in pain and Liara was doubled over and out of breath.

"You see that Wrex? I just got two of my squad to attack the rest and they didn't even think about how wrong the order was, just that they'd better do it or face my wrath. If you can't lead the Krogan then I'll leave Alenko to command the Normandy and I'll get the Krogan to bow to me instead. Now for the last time fall in line or I will beat you to death with my fists and then use your corpse as a meat shield on the assault on the cloning facility."

"…Fine Shepard, you win." Wrex lowered his shotgun and put it on his back again.

"Good, now get your ass back on the Normandy, you're off the mission."

"What? Saren's using my people and you're not going to let me have a shot at him?"

"If you question my orders one more time I'll shove my fist so far down your throat that" Wrex could swear that he saw her turn into a female Krogan right before his eyes. "I'll be using your redundant nervous system like puppet strings for pure amusement."

"Yes M'am" Wrex huffed and walked back to the Normandy.

After the assault on the base, ending with Alenko staying behind to make sure the bomb went off and the Normandy being locked down and Shepard "stealing" her ship and going rouge…

"Shepard, I heard you were feeling upset so I came to cheer you up." Wrex said as the doors to her cabin closed behind him.

"What are you gonna tell me one of your old war stories, need me to find something else that belonged to your family? Unless you want me to beat the hell out of you I suggest you go back down to the cargo hold."

"I'd like that, a lot. See, you talked a good game on Virmire, but I realized no scrawny human like you could ever do any real damage to a Krogan without a mass accelerator weapon in her hands, so yeah I'd like you to beat the hell out of me Shepard." Wrex smirked at the soldier knowing she'd take his bluff and attack him with all her might.

"Alright you big dumbass!" Shepard leaped across the room and punched Wrex as hard as she could, staggering Wrex almost back to the door.

"Ha, you punch a child that's five years from the rite of passage, hardly enough to use my nervous system like puppet-" Wrex was interrupted by another fist and three more punches after that to his chest, then a kick to the jaw and finished by throwing Wrex into the middle of the room and mounting him. "I'm so bored Shepard, let me know when you really start hitting with all you've got" Shepard wound up then slammed her fist into his chest cracking his armor. "Now we're getting somewhere" Wrex returned fire and planted his fist against Kallen's jaw, and she retaliated with a head butt. "You…you dare?"

"Yeah I dare. I read up on Krogan culture and a head butt is the ultimate humiliation for you beasts, so yeah I "Kallen head butted Wrex again, "fucking" once more, DARE!" and another one. Though she kept her visage up her head was killing her because of Wrex's plates.

"You've got some nerve head butting me like that!"

"And you've got some nerve having a hard on from me head butting you, yeah I feel it and it's kind of hot, so get your dinosaur ass out of that armor and fuck me before I get my shotgun."

"Heh, you don't waste time, fine then but I lead" Wrex smirked as he rolled her onto her back and proceeded to rip her alliance fatigues off along with his armor.

"you better lead well or I'll take it back from you-OH!" Shepard yelped once Wrex got situated and started their fight for supremacy of mating. Wrex was doing a fine job, keeping his relentless pound of Shepard consistent, not letting her find any openings, until she manufactured one.

"Oh, Alenko, what are you doing here?" Shepard stopped to look but saw nothing except the room turning and Shepard sitting on top of him, "god you're stupid Shepard said as she took control and never relinquished it until she was completely satisfied with Wrex.

"I've gotta say Shepard, for a human, you fuck pretty well." Wrex sighed as the two got some much needed rest.

"And for a Krogan, you come pretty fast. God I feel pregnant."


	15. Kal'Reegar

A/N: For Haiduc who came out of left field with this one.

Kat Shepard

Earthborn

War Hero

Paragon Vanguard

* * *

"Stay down Reegar, you've done enough already. You are NOT taking one for the team." Shepard bellowed over the sound of Geth firing at her squad.

"Fine. But you better find a way to take that thing down. Give it hell, Kellah selai!"

After getting halfway through the trech Shep, Garrus and Miranda are pinned down.

"Augh!" rockets flew over their heads and hit most of the geth in front of them. Shepard looked back to see Kal'Reegar "If I've gotta save your ass, I might as well do it in style!" Reegar fired more rockets and allowed Shepard to take out a few more geth units.

"Garrus, you've got a destroyer at your 2 o'clock, Miranda, use overload on the colossus again to weaken its shields more!"

"AUGH!" Shepard looked back to see Reegar falling backwards and a Geth platform advancing on him.

"I'll be back guys!" Shepard focused her biotics and charged at the lone geth, blasting it into the nearest wall and into a million pieces.

"Damn lamp head was cloaked" Reegar coughed as more blood appeared on his suit. The Geth had gotten past his barrier and punctured his suit, "Well I guess this will be where my road ends."

"Don't you talk like that soldier, hang in there!" Sheppard said as she opened the medi-gel app only to see it was empty and there wasn't a medical station in sight.

"It's alright Shepard. I'm only going out with one regret."

"What regret is that?"

"Well uh…it's…kind of embarrassing actually…"

"Come on you can tell me Reegar"

"Well….I've never…" Reegar's voice dropped to a whisper, "Linked suits with anyone."

"Wait, you mean you've never had sex?" Shepard asked.

"That's not…well if that's what you humans call it then yeah" Reegar gave another violent cough, "Well you can't always get what you want, but I served the fleet as best I could."

"Well…" Shepard thought she was crazy, but just seeing Kal'Reegar in his last few moments was just so sad. "I…might be able to help you with…that."

"What? Are you crazy I could-"

"Look, you're dying anyway so why the hell would you care about getting a cold?" Shepard said as she checked on her squad mates who were not just focusing on the colossus with the surrounding geth subdued.

"You've got a point. I'm not asking you to do this…"

"It's your dying wish, plus my squad needs to learn how to handle themselves without me in combat." She said as she unhooked the breastplate on her armor. "plus, I've never done a Quarian…and between you and me, I might need the practice for Tali"

"Ah, well I guess this'll be a win for both of us then." Reegar chuckled then winced at the pain in his shoulder. Shepard was now unhooking her waist armor and the cod piece on Kal's armor.

"One dying lay coming up" Shepard said as she straddled Kal's waist and slid herself down on him. "oh my…" Shepard said as she went to work, knowing she'd have to do most of the moving.

"If I have to go out, I want to go out like this!" Kal said as Shepard did her thing. The pleasure he was receiving was almost as great as the pain from his wounds.

"I've gotta admit, you're packing more than that rocket launcher, are all Quarian men like you-oooo!" Shepard tensed up as she found a good rhythm. She unwittingly placed her hands on Kal's shoulders, inadvertently pressing on one of his wounds. After an alarmed scream from Kal she removed her hand but was so in the moment she placed her bloody hand on her right breast.

"Damn Shepard. I can see why Tali followed you, you're…amazing!" Reegar felt as a rush of pleasure filled him and filled Shepard as he came.

"Well it's the least I could do, since well…you're dying and all…"

"Yeah well…with any luck…there might be a little Reegar running around in a few months."

"God I hope not" Shepard thought as she stood up.

"Uh…Shepard?" a confused voice came from behind her. Shepard turned her head slowly to see Tali, Miranda, and Garrus standing behind her. "What's…going on here."

"Well I was just...uh…giving Kal'reegar his dying wish?"

"Well I've got some medi-gel right here, so he won't be going anywhere" Tali activated her omni-tool and used medi-gel to heal Reegars wounds.

"Thank you M'am. You're commander's as good as you said she is, AUGH!" Reegar was interrupted by a pistol round being put in his shoulder.

"no I think he's not going to make it, I'm getting paragon points for granting him his dying wish!" but little did she know that 50 renegade points were added to her scale.


	16. Kasumi 2

A/N: For Ryluna, who's got some 'splanin to do when Liara finds out she's reading this. XD

Angela Shepard

Spacer

Sole Survivor

Paragade Vanguard

* * *

"Kasumi, the commander would like a word with you in her cabin" Edi chimed in over the speakers in the starboard observation.

"Thanks EDI" Kasumi walked from her room to the elevator and a sinking feeling manifested itself in her stomach. It'd been a few weeks since the pheromone incident when half the ship was throwing itself at the commander, but there was a small chance that Shepard knew that it was Kasumi's doing that led to it. The elevator arrived at the first deck and Kasumi walked up to the door. It swished open to reveal a dimly lit room that was empty. "I guess I'll just wait here" Kasumi sighed out loud as the door closed behind her.

"So Kasumi" Shepard's voice called from behind her, startling the thief. "How's it going?"

"Um…good I guess, what did you want to talk to me about?" Kasumi was starting to feel a like something was amiss.

"Oh nothing. I'm still trying to get over being chased after lustfully by my crew and then waking up to see that everyone doesn't remember a thing. I knew I couldn't possibly be crazy so I had EDI run back some footage…and I found this"

_"So when do you think the pheromones will wear off?" Kasumi asked Mordin as they watched Shepard run through the lab and into the hallway to the armory followed by the rest of the crew._

_"Should wear off in a few hours, the dose was effective yes?"_

_"Oh yeah, I knew it'd be fun to spray it on her while she slept but I didn't think it'd get this fun, Thanks for getting me the antidote, I like Shep, but she'd run me ragged."_

_"Thank you Kasumi, the data from this multi species pheromone will be the second most difficult work since modified Genophage, will be remembered forever for medical and scientific brilliance."_

_"And known for entertaining me. Well I've got a flash bang grenade to deploy to make sure Shep doesn't get gangbanged in the cargo deck. Have fun with your data!" and Kasumi cloaked out of sight._

"Um…I"

"You sprayed me with a pheromone so I'd attract everyone around me!" Shepard shouted but immediately clamed herself.

"Mordin offered me credits, I don't see why you're mad at me. I'm just the messenger here!" Kasumi was in all out panic mode. She heard about how hardcore Shepard was, hell she didn't even play the little game with the advertisement on the citadel. Kasumi was fearing for her life.

"Oh I know. He didn't know the dose was the powerful and he gave me the breakdown of it in his lab…and…another dose" Shepard said as she pulled out a small bottle and sprayed herself with the contents. "EDI, lock the door"

"Understood commander" EDI chimed in as the door interface turned red.

"No, you wouldn't." Kasumi whispered as she moved away from her commander.

"I bet that antidote has worn off hasn't it?" Shepard smiled devilishly as she advanced on Kasumi.

"It has…oh…damn it." Kasumi said as the smell of the pheromone filled her nostrils.

"this is what you get when you cross Commander Angela Shepard. You get royally fucked." Shepard laughed as she pulled the straps of her dress over her shoulders and let it fall to her feet. Kasumi was trying her hardest to resist the pheromone but without the antidote she could feel her hormones kicking into overdrive and Shepard was starting to look damn sexy in her bra and panties. "Have at it Kasumi" Shepard said longingly as she stood by her bed, "I'm all yours." A few moments passed and Kasumi was starting to unzip her jump suit and remove her underwear, before racing over to Shepard and tackling her. "That's right ravish me Goto."

"Shut up, stop encouraging me!" Kasumi cried, but she couldn't stop herself. She tore Shepard's bra off of her and did the same with her panties while kissing her way from her neck down the rest of her body. "Damn, I can't stop. Whoa you are stacked!" Kasumi gasped as she stopped to admire her commanders body, Miranda really did some great work.

"Oh, you flatter me, now get back to having your way with me!" Shepard barked.

"Yes m'am" Kasumi lost control of herself finally and started sucking one of Shepard's nipples.

"Let's get a look at what's under the hood." Shepard thought as she pulled Kasumi's hood off of her head to see that Kasumi's hair was jet black and pulled up into a bun and that didn't last long as Shepard undid the hair tie and let Kasumi's hair drop down to her back. "much better" Shepard was then blindsided by Kasumi pressing their lips together to kiss her with as much passion as she could muster.

"I'm never going to forgive you for this Shep" Kasumi said while catching her breath then resuming her kiss, "I'll find some way to get back at you!" this time Kasumi grabbed Shepard's breasts and gave them a good squeeze.

"If you say so, just bang me woman!" Shepard moaned as Kasumi worked her way down to her, as Liara put it, Azure. "You may proceed, to lick me silly!"

"As you wish" Kasumi, reluctantly, began licking Shepard and immediately got her to arch her back.

"Oh yeah! run me ragged Kasumi" Shepard moaned, playing n what Kasumi said to Mordin about having sex with her.

"you're enjoying this" Kasumi cried in frustration in between licks.

"You're-OH!- right I am. I think you should enjoy it too" Shepard composed herself enough to bring Kasumi's hips around to her face so she could return the favor. The two were now competing to see who could get the other to ecstasy first. After several minutes Shepard thought she'd lose the unofficial race because Kasumi got a head start, but when she slapped Kasumi's ass, she'd tipped the scales in her favor.

"Oh yeah, slap my ass Shep!" Kasumi cried.

"OH? You like that huh?" Shepard knew she'd have to milk this for all it was worth. "What should I do again?"

"Slap my ass, hard!" Shepard obliged and she slapped Kasumi's ass as hard as she could, leaving a faint red hand print on her left cheek. "ahh sugoi!"

"Listen to you, you sound as if you're enjoying this" Shepard said menacingly and she slapped Kasumi's ass again.

"I give Shep…just finish me already!" Kasumi begged.

"Fine, since you asked so nicely." Shepard laughed and jammed her index and middle fingers inside of Kasumi and put her new muscle upgrade to good use and fingered the theif as fast as she could. Moments later a loud , lustful, scream shot form Kasumi's mouth and her body quaked as Shep's fingers were coated in liquid. "Now what did we learn?" Shep asked in a motherly tone.

"don't mess with Shep" Kasumi said as she flopped onto her back to catch her breath.

"You damn right. Say cheese!" Angela laughed as she activated her Omni-tool and snapped a picture of Kasumi's naked and wet body.

At the shadow brokers base…

"By the goddess…that was amazing" Liara said as she pulled her panties up and closed the feed to the security camera feed form Shepard's cabin.


	17. Joker

A/N: Whoa haven't done a chapter in a whole month! dayum...so here ya go!

Kat Shepard

Earthborn

War Hero

Paragon Adept

* * *

"Shepard, you've been here for 5 hours. While I'm glad that you're here and not out getting shot at, don't you think it's time you headed back to the Normandy?" Liara asked as she walked over to her former commander who was firmly planted in front of the console Liara set aside for Shepard to use the shadow brokers information network.

"I'll leave when I'm done watching this I swear." Shepard said as she waved Liara away dismissively.

"Shepard if I knew why you'd be using the network I wouldn't have let you have free access to it." Liara said as she unplugged the console.

"Hey!"

"Up, go back to your ship, and make your move already." Liara pulled her former commander up from her chair and shooed her towards the airlock.

"but, what if he doesn't like it!" Sheppard cried in defense.

"You're Commander Shepard, who'd say no to you?"

Aboard the Normandy…

"Okay, remember what Liara said. Really who could reject the most famous human in the galaxy? I'm Commander fucking Shepard and I can have any man I want."

"Uh Commander are you feeling okay?" Jokers voice interrupted her train of thought and brought her back to reality when she realized she'd already walked into the bridge during her pep talk.

"Oh, I'm fine, just uh…what are you doing?"

"Nothing right now, EDI's got control of the ship because I'm tired, I must admit, it feels nice to just sit back and watch the Galaxy go by.

"So you're saying EDI is driving…hmmm"

"Yeah…why, what is it to you?"

"Joker…I love you."

"Oh well that's….wait what?" Joker turned his chair around to face the commander. Immediately he noticed that she was wearing the black dress Kasumi got her for the heist , the one she screamed to the heavens that she would never wear again. "Did I hear you correctly? You love me?"

"Yeah…why do you think I'm in this dress? I just spent 5 hours looking up information on you in the shadow broker's database so I could tell you without being in the dark about things."

"Wait, so you used the shadow broker's database…to look up stuff about me? Wow that's a waste; I would have told you anything you asked."

"Well…that kind of what Liara said"

"Then she was right."

"Well there is one thing I couldn't ask you about…you'd never tell me even if I put a gun to your head."

"What?"

"The Commander Shepard Parody porn video you downloaded 25 times."

"I told you she would find out" EDI chimed in.

"Oh crap you saw that?"

"Yeah, I did." Shepard spun Jokers chair around so he was facing the controls and walked around to stand in front of him.

"Not the legs! Not the legs!" Joker covered his face in fear of immense physical pain, but when he felt pressure on his legs, it wasn't nearly as bone shattering as he thought. "what's..going on?" Joker peeled his hands away to see he was staring directly at Shepard's chest and immediately snapped his eyes up to her face.

"What? Why settle for some random actress trying to be me, when I'm right here Joker." Shep was turning on the charm for her pilot and even let down her hair bun so her auburn hair could fall to her shoulders. "Joker I've waited a long time for you admit you want me." Shep removed Joker's hat and tossed it aside.

"Shep…I don't know what to say, but-"

"You don't have to say anything. I'll do all the work so you don't break anything" Kat pressed her lips against Joker's and kissed him as passionately. All the feelings she built up inside, all the time she spent at the Shadow Brokers base looking up Joker's extranet activity and surveillance of him was paying off.

"I'm done looking over reports, Shepard's off with T'soni in the Intel Center, what do you say we go down to my office and…Jeff are you up there?" a voice came from behind Joker's chair.

"Miranda?" Kat poked her head over Joker's chair to match the voice to the person. It was Miranda, with two coffee mugs in her hand and she wasn't wearing her usual Cerberus cat woman suit but an outfit similar to what Dr Chakwas normally wore. "What are you doing…and what are you wearing?"

"Never mind that I thought you were with T'soni at the Intel Center, and where's Joker?" Miranda replied.

"Under here, I'm keeping my hands to myself." Joker said, and yes while his hands were not touching Kat, his face just so happened to be buried in her chest.

"Commander what are you doing to my boyfriend?" Miranda placed her hands on her hips and glared at Spectre.

"Your boyfriend…Joker? When…how…why? But I thought you and Jacob…"

"Ancient History. Joker's witty, compassionate, and since his bones have been reinforced, something we did to yours, he's quite the romantic, and we've been dating since Garrus was recruited, so get your hands off my man, M'am."

"Joker, why didn't you tell me? And the video!"

"It's a gift I gave him for our 3 month anniversary, I play you and then give him a show." Miranda said with some slight embarrassment in her voice, "now hands off!"

Kat's glare lowered from Miranda to Joker, who resumed his cowering position. "so what were you going to do when I started getting serious? Well?"

"I was going to stop you, but you didn't let me get in any words!" Joker said from behind his hands.

"so you just let me go on believing you were interested, well I see where we stand." Shepard tied her hair back up and pulled herself off of Joker and left the bridge. "You stole him from me!" Shepard dove and tackled Miranda to the floor and began punching and clawing at her XO who tried her best to escape, but Shepard wanted a piece of Lawson so there was no escape.

"Shepard stop!" Miranda cried as she could only cover up in the fetal position as Shepard attacked her.

"Come on Kat, let her go!" Joker tried his best to pull Shepard off his girlfriend, until Kat's biotic corona flared up and she shot both Joker and Miranda into the airlock. "what are you doing?"

"Getting you traitors off my ship. Garrus will be my XO and EDI will pilot the Normandy. That way you and this science experiment can both be together and know what it feels like to be Vaccumed for you. I loved you even though you got me Killed Joker, well let's see how you like it!" Shepard punched the console and shut the airlock doors and watched as both former crew members floated out into space, clutching their throats from the lack of oxygen. "mwuahahaha, ahahahahahahahaha , HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Shepard cackled maniacally as bright red glowing scars crept across her face and her eyes turned the same color.

"AHHH!"Kat shot up in her bed, breathing heavily and drenched in a cold sweat. "It was just a dream…whoa…no more games of Galaxy of fantasy with Legion before bed" Kat sighed as she laid back down and snuggled into the arms of her ace pilot and drifted back to sleep.


	18. Horizon

A/N: This is a continuation from Ashely's Chapter, inspired by JWalker, Chignon, and Captain Crash's talk about Horizon on the Femshep Thread.

Kallen Shepard

Earthborn

Ruthless

Renegon Soldier

* * *

"I did everything I could you just hid in your damn bunker!" Kallen yelled at the Mechanic as the collector cruiser sped off into Horizons atmosphere.

"If it wasn't for Commander Shepard you'd all be in that ship right now, so you're not being very grateful" Tali shot at the mechanic, who seemed to take an interest in the name of the soldier before him.

"Shepard? I know you, you're some big alliance hero" Delan said with anger in his voice.

"Commander Kallen Shepard" a voice came from behind one of the crates , followed by the body of Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams emerging from behind it, "the first human spectre, savior of the Citadel, back from the dead, you're speaking to a God, Delan"

"All the good people we lost and you're still here, figures, I'm done with you alliance types." And the mechanic stormed off.

"Good riddance" Garrus said under his breath.

"Shepard" Ashley said as she walked up to her former commander and then pulled her into a tight embrace.

"You sound angry with me Ash" Shepard said as they let go of each other.

"I am. You've been alive all this time and you didn't think to contact me? Did the council help you fake your death and if so why didn't you let me in on it? I gave the eulogy at your funeral for god's sake. It took me weeks to muster up the courage to even go let alone speak."

"No Ash, I didn't fake anything. The collectors killed me, I got spaced trying to save Joker and then I woke up on an operating table 2 weeks ago while the Cerberus base I was in was under attack." Shepard responded, but Ashley's eyes widened and she took a step back.

"Whoa, wait a minute, you're with Cerberus now? What did they do to you that made you want to work for them?"

"I don't work for them, they Gave me a new Normandy and a crew to stop the collectors from attacking Human colonies and to help me pay those bug eyed bastards back for Killing me. Speaking of being dead. Ash." Shepard took a few steps closer to Ashely and whispered something into her ear.

"…you're not joking with me…are you?" Ashley's voice started to get choked up.

"I wouldn't joke like that and he did say that. He's proud of you Ash." Shepard put a hand on Ashley's shoulder.

"So you weren't faking it…but then why are you with Cerberus and what took you so long to come find me?" Ashley asked as she wiped a tear from her eye.

"Well I had to go get these two of course." Shepard pointed over her shoulder to Garrus and Tali, two of the members of the original Normandy crew. "They're on board too they know that sometimes you have to make alliances with people who you normally wouldn't to get the job done. Ash, I could really use you on the SR-2 It's not the same without you."

"Shepard, stop. You answer to the Illusive man, the head of Cerberus, they're using you to make themselves look justified because you're with them. If that's what happens they could overtake the Alliance. Remember they have an agent everywhere, that's how they got Kahoku. How do you think he'd react to you working for the organization that killed his men?"

"I'm sure Kohoku would understand because I'm saving innocent lives from reaper agents! The collectors killed me and destroyed my ship. I'm out for blood and they're attack human colonies to get me because I killed sovereign. The reapers are getting back at me for stopping their genocide by going after these unprotected colonists. Terminus systems or not I will not stand for that. If I tell the Illusive man how I'm doing my job that shouldn't matter. He told me you were here and that the colony went dark, if it wasn't for him I'd still be out recruiting my team and you'd be in that ship."

"Oh so now The Illusive Man is a Paragon of justice and everything Cerberus did was to stop the collectors all the test subjects were so we couldn't be captured right? When did you turn into a Cerberus apologist?"

"Me a Cerberus apologist? I didn't decide to help them until I saw the barren ghost town that was freedom's progress. Some help they got from the great Alliance that you'd bend over backwards to defend, even when they gave up on finding your girlfriend and basically called her a loon for believing the reapers and convinced the galaxy that there's no such thing. You want to talk about turning my back on everything we stood for, well I'm still fighting the reapers, what about you?"

Ashley started to respond, but stopped before a word come escape her lips and looked down to the ground, Shepard craning her neck to follow Ashley's gaze still waiting for her answer.

"I'm waiting Williams." Shepard said, still fired up. "The collectors work for the reapers, they're controlled by the reaper Harbinger the same way Saren was controlled by sovereign, implants and everything. He controls one in every group of collectors we fight and he becomes a tough son of a bitch to take down. Cerberus is the ONLY thing helping me prevent attacks like these. The alliance has turned it's back on these people and I'm here to show that humanity cares."

"Ashley, she's right." Tali said stepping forward, "I have every right to think the same way you do because Cerberus attacked the Migrant fleet, but the collectors are working for the Reapers and I can't let the reapers win.

"Williams you're being to emotional" Garrus chimed in, " you're not letting the facts speak for themselves The Normandy is filled with former alliance crewman, some of whom were demoted for believing In what Shepard said about the Reapers"

"Shepard they could be lying to you!" what if the collectors are working with Cerberus!"

"I'm sorry, but why would Cerberus send me to destroy the collectors if they're working with them. That's counterproductive and if I know anything about the Illusive man it's that he wants results and he wouldn't be getting results if I go around fucking things up. Ashley, I'll make them pay for what they've done, but AFTER the reapers have been stopped once and for all. For the mean time I'm going to bite the bullet and use their resources, money, guns, man power, and whatever it takes to make sure our colonies are safe and that the entire galaxy isn't wiped out because of them, because I am NOT ending up like the Protheans. I'm a Spectre, so I'm above any and all Alliance ranks, I didn't want to do this but." Shepard reached down to her pistol holster and pulled out a badge. "Kallen Shepard, member of the Special Tactics and Reconnaissance Branch of the Citadel and I'm ordering you to join the crew of the Normandy SR-2 Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams."

"What? You think that just because you're a Spectre that you can order me around?"

"M'am if you do not follow this order you will be in direct violation of an order with council authority."

"and second I'm Operations Chief Ashley Williams now"

"Oh you finally got promoted, that's nice Ash!...anyway you have until the count of 5 to comply with this order."

"Shepard, don't hand me that crap, you know damn well you don't have the Authority to order me around. Spectre or no, I answer to the Alliance"

"I'm still a Commander in the Alliance so you're still disobeying a direct order from a superior"

"you're a Cerberus Commander, and I don't answer to Cerberus."

"Fine. Garrus, Tali, Grab Williams and let's get back to the ship" Tali and Garrus stepped in front of Shepard and grabbed Ashley by her wrists and after **alot **of struggling they finally were able to restrain her and held her in front of Kallen.

"you'll pay for this Shepard, they'll come looking for me. You're acting like a fool!" Ashley shouted as she struggled against Garrus and Tali.

Kallen stared into Ashley's defiant dark brown eyes for a few moments then knelt in front of her and kissed her with the passion that had been building up since she awoke on the Lazarus station. Once she broke the kiss she stood back up and turned around. "Love makes us do foolish things. Joker, bring the shuttle. We've got a prisoner"

"Wait" Ashley called. "…Joker's with you too?"

"Yes, he's the pilot. Chakwas is onboard too."

"…fine…I'll join you"

"…and by Prisoner, I mean a new crew member, I think you might know her Joker."


	19. Authors note

A/N: For now I'm notching ME: Paramour chronicles as complete. BUT I'm releasing an alternate version of Romance one shots for romances that do not involve commander Shepard since htose Ideas are starting to flood my head. So for all you alerters I'll edit this Authors note to add the link to the new story and thank you for all the attention and reviews you've given me. I really appreciate the boost in my ego as a writer.


	20. Lucky 21

A/N: Okay I know I said this was compelete, but this Idea was just too good to pass up. After this though I most likley publish the non-Shepard Paramour chroniclesI swear. XD

Chapter Title: Liara/Orgy

Featuring: Kathryn, Shai, Kate, Rachel, Urania Jane Shepard; and Liara T'Soni. (oh and someone else too ;D)

* * *

"Shadow Broker out" Liara sighed as she ended her last check in of the day so she could get some rest. It was good having the VI handle things for a few hours she slept. "Oh Goddess I'm tired." She yawned as she stood up and began to walk out of the Information Center.

"Liara!" Liara's head turned to the video screen to see that her favorite person in the galaxy was waiting to enter her lair.

"Rachel, it's so nice of you to drop by. I was just about to let the VI take over for the night" Liara smiled as she opened the door to the info center.

"Looks like my timing was just perfect" Rachel laughed as she embraced the Asari, "since you're not working maybe we could skip to the part where I find where the azure is?" Rachel winked at Liara.

"Oh My, Rachel you're so forward. I would but I'm extremely tired and I was planning on doing something with Feron. We haven't had a chance to really catch up since I became the Shadow Broker and I promised him he would." Liara pushed Rachel away softly and flashed an adorable smile.

"Well, can I tag along then?" Rachel asked flashing an equally adorable smile.

"Well, I uh, didn't mention you to him so I don't think he might…like it?"

"Liara, Feron's nice, plus I'd like to get to know your friend. I didn't know you had any friends outside of the old crew. Is something wrong?" Rachel raised an inquisitive eyebrow and then had her question answered in the most unexpected way…

"Liara, where'd you go, you said we could spend some time together tonight." Another woman walked out of the video center and looked down at the two. "Liara…who is that?"

"Yeah Liara who's she?" Rachel asked.

"Um…Rachel…this is…Kathryn Shepard…and…well we're together…"

"What? But I thought we had something I thought you loved me!" Rachel shouted as she backed away from the Asari, at the same time the door to the information center opened again.

"Hey Liara, Wanna embrace eternity…who are they?" Kate Shepard asked as she dropped the flowers and Serrice Ice Brandy she brought.

"Kate, This is a really bad time." Liara said before turning to see another woman come through the door by the dossiers.

"Surprise Liara…hey who are these bitches?"

"Shai, I wasn't expecting you...oh Goddess." Liara now had four Angry Shepards on her plate and there was no easy way to get out of this one.

"Liara, have you been cheating on me with...clones of me?" Rachel demanded angrily.

"Who are you calling a clone, I'm Commander Shepard, I'm the one Liara loves, not you!" Shai shouted.

"No, she's my blueberry!" A voice said before Shai felt something slam into her and knock her into the wall. Another woman appeared from a field of biotics and brushed the dust off of her blue N7 armor.

"Urania Jane! Oh Goddess this is getting worse." Liara buried her face in her hands as all hell started to break loose.

"you damn right it's going to get worse" Shai shouted as her biotics flared and She and UJ charged into each other at the same time, sending the other flying into the wall behind them.

"That had to hurt!" Rachel laughed as Kate flared her biotics and threw Rachel into the dossier console. "Oh you messed with the wrong Shepard!" Rachel activated her Omni-tool and hit Kate with Damping tech, completely disabling her biotics.

"What the?" Kate tried to flare her corona but it would shine weakly then diminish in a matter of seconds.

"Not so tough now are you, stupid adept!" Rachel flared her biotics and pulled Kate towards her before throwing her in the opposite direction, causing her to fly into Shai knocking her down again. "Ha!" but her victory was short lived as UJ's fist found Rachel's face and sent her flying, from the biotics attached to that punch, right into Kathryn who hadn't gotten into the fight.

"Ouch that was uncalled for!" Kathryn shouted as she pushed Rachel off of her.

"Shepards stop please!" Liara cried as she used stasis on all of them.

"you're all from Different Games. I care for each of you equally and individually in your various consoles and computers. So stop fighting, I care bare for you to hurt each other, which is just another version of you, so stop being masochistic and take me to bed Dammit!"

"…Ok!" all four Shepard's said in unison and after stasis wore off pieces of N7 armor flew through the air on the way to Liara's quarters and 5 minutes later Liara was on her back, enjoying a simultaneous melding Session. Liara had never felt a Sensation so pleasing before. All the different experiences with her and the individual Shepard's rushing through her body, along with all of them doing things to her body that even she didn't know she liked, made Liara feel blissfully helpless and closer to each Shepard. Once everyone was at their limit they all just laid on Liara's bed, somehow snuggling up against her.

"By the Goddess…that was incredible."Liara sighed as he toes continued to tingle from melding.

"I'll say. I had no idea Rachel would do that with her hands" Kathryn sighed goofily as she and Rachel locked hands.

"What can I say? Commander Shepard's a pro in the sack." Rachel giggled as she got a resounding "I hear that" from her fellow Shepard's, "I didn't know Kate was so…insatiable though, I might stop by your saved game sometime, if I'm not to busy with Liara that is.

"you're welcome in my game any time." Kate said.

"I didn't know Paragon's were so skilled though" Shai laughed, "Kathryn's got some skills.

"Well we are from the same Xbox, so you've got some skills yourself Shai Shep." Kathryn responded.

"So, should we all get something to eat and try this again?" Liara proposed.

"Hell yeah!" the Shepard's responded.

"Liara, the Network is going haywire and-my apologies!" Feron said as he saw what he stumbled upon.

"It's alright Feron" Liara called, "Actually, you've been tortured for over 2 years now, I'm sure Shepard and I can find some way to make you feel better, right Ladies?"

"Well…I guess" Kathryn sighed," I'm still trying to get used to your perverted side."

"Same for me but if you're okay with it, I am" Rachel said.

"Ditto for me" Shai said.

"Sure, I'm down for some adventure" Kate smirked.

"Well if the other me's are doing it I'm in" UJ agreed, making it completely unanimous.

"Feron, prepare to embrace eternity" Liara pulled him over to the sea of Shepard's

"Wait I'm not prepared for this!" Feron shouted as he was devoured and didn't reappear until he was completely exhausted along with the other 6 women around him. Who were now experiencing the strangest dreams from making oral contact with Drell skin.


End file.
